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MOH rant

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07/13/2008 at 02:24 pm

So I asked my MOH to set a date for the bridal shower because several people have asked when it's going to be. She has a lot of stuff going on she has two kids and just broke up with her new boyfriend and just got her boobs done a few weeks ago. Anyway so I called her and asked if we could just set a date I didn't need any other decisions to be made. I offered to let her have it at my house since she lives an hour away from the majority of the guests and asked that it be on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. She works noon to 8pm on Saturday and 8am to 4pm on Sunday. So I said maybe we could have it at 3pm on Sunday and you could just leave work an hour early? But she wants to do it on a weekday night. I insisted that a weekend day would work out better for me (since it's at my house) So she said whatever just pick a day. I don't think I'm being unreasonable some of our family lives 3 hours away so they wouldn't be able to come if we had it that late on a weekday and everyone would have to work the next day and has families to make dinner for etc. So she is pissed about having to take time off work and demanded that we have the bacholette party on the same day so she wouldn't have to take two days off work. There is nothing that says your MOH has to be the one to throw you a shower. I'm just like whatever I don't even want to deal with it.

07/13/2008 at 03:13 pm

Have your mom or sister throw it... Tell her she will be invited and can come late if this affects her work... She doesn't have the time. Even if there is something that says she is responsible for this aspect, where did the "Rule" come from. What form of classicism says we all have to follow those rules.. I think in other countries they have other rules and other time periods other rules... Fun to have tradition, but to bound by tradition into doing things that clearly are not working is a little strange...

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07/13/2008 at 04:19 pm

Hey Soon,

What about the rest of your bridal party? They can throw it for you and just have your MOH help as much or as little as she can and show up when her work schedule allows? Or have the shower be a late evening shower with a start time at 6ish? We just did that for a friends baby shower. It worked very well (was more of a girls night). Really, the time/date should as convenient for you and the rest of the guests as it is for the host. As for your mom or sister throwing the shower, I checked on this for mine and the etiquette rules says it's bad form for close family members (mom/sister) to throw a shower because it looks like the family is asking for gifts. But really you can do what you are comfortable with. Good luck.

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07/13/2008 at 04:31 pm

Why do MOH's have to be such brats??? Ugh, I've gone through very similar things with mine...anywho, like RebelBride said, what about the rest of your bridal party? Can one of them host it? For me, my MOH is hosting my shower at one of my mom's friend's house, and a couple of my bridesmaids are putting together my bachelorette party. So it doesn't always have to be your MOH planning things, ESPECIALLY if she is being such a pain about it all, you know?

07/13/2008 at 05:03 pm

IMO I would rather look elsewhere for assistance- your other BM should be more involved, aunts, friends, etc...  If shes like this now, I could imagine what her actual planning/ shower will be like...

You need and DESERVE to have a nice day with your closest friends and family, I agree a weekend will be less stresfull as well...  She doesn't seem very compassionate/reasonable about you right now, so you know what to do... :)

- HMM

07/13/2008 at 05:25 pm

sh!t - i'll fly my ass to FL and throw you one!!  ;-)

WTH is wrong with some people sometimes??? 

gosh aims, i hope you work it out - you deserve a shower - every bride does!!!

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07/13/2008 at 06:42 pm

This has put me in a blah mood all night! I even resorted to retail therapy (I bought lots of cute clothes for my honeymoon on VS)

07/13/2008 at 06:57 pm

NO you are definitely not being unreasonable. Just have someone else do it. If she is not interested to make it the best for YOU then have someone else do it that will. It is your party by the way.

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07/13/2008 at 07:13 pm

Yeah totally she's being a brat. But hopefully you can ask the rest of your bridal party? Or female relatives? I'm sure someone else would be willing to do it especially if you're offering your house :) That's what i did, I told my sister who's in the bridal party (and now been promoted to Co-Maid of Honor) to gather up the bridal party and everyone pitch in to have it. So that's whats going to be done because honestly my other Co Maid of Honor is very ..umm....irresponsible so i wouldnt trust her to do it alone and i'm sure she's releived she doesnt have to do it.

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07/14/2008 at 04:00 am

I just wanted to keep my inner bridezilla in check. I felt that my requests weren't unreasonable but I wanted to get the PW girls opinion. I just thought that we should at least have a date picked out because our wedding is in 60 days.

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