More Venting!!

What do you think about this…

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mama mia thats a tough one! are you able to afford a nanny for the wedding day? find out how much one costs and tell her, since you're coming alone with the baby, i've found a nanny for the day and will be willing to split the cost for you. just so neither one of us will be stressed out on the most important day of my life!

and no i dont think you're being overly dramatic. this is YOUR day and there is no way that she could help you in the fullest with a 9 week old on her arm.

OMG....she's going to travel ALONE with a 9wk old baby???? WTF!!!!  I think you need to find a way for her to not come....and why hasn't the mother or husband already booked their flights? 

Yeah, but how do I tell her not to come or be in it now?  Her dress is already here and paid for.  I told her I could resell it and it was not a problem, but she said that wasn't an option. 

stressful!! b/c who's gonna take care of the little one??

are your friendship and your friend strong enough to withstand the truth? 

is there someone else who can fit in it?  IMO...and it's just MO....she probably should've thought more seriously about accepting the responsibility so close to the baby being born....but that's water under the bridge now....i think you just have to be straight with her....tell her unless someone can come with her to mind the baby...then you'd prefer if she not come.  make it about the baby....i know i wouldn't want to be in the seat next to a 9 WEEK OLD BABY on the plane!!!

I'd wait a bit until after she has the baby to get a decision from her. Her attitude about what she can and can't handle might change. Even though this is baby #2, it's not going to be the same as baby #1. She might decide to leave the baby with her husband and savor a couple of days away. Or, she may feel like the can't be apart from the baby for that long and opt to not come at all. It sounds like she has her heart set on being there to see you get married. I'd give her a little slack there, as it seems to be really important to her.

Traveling with a newborn is actually a lot easier than traveling with a toddler IMO. Ideally, they sleep the whole way. And a flight from Cincinnati to Dallas isn't that long of a flight, (less than 2 hours?). But newborns are still developing their immune systems and flying exposes them to lots of new germs. Some moms aren't cool with that, some are fine with it.

If you're pretty close to her husband, how about talking to him about it? Maybe he can convince his wife that he'd be happy to keep the kids for a couple of days while she has a mini-vacation. If that doesn't work, talk to her about how you dont want her to miss out on any part of the ceremony if she has to leave with a crying baby. You want her to enjoy herself and not have to worry about keeping the baby occupied and entertained.

Good luck!

abattyref is right, she may change her mind after the baby is born and decide to stay home.  I don't think you are overreacting at all though. You don't want her to be stressed, and you don't want to be stressed. I would just talk to her and say "Jenny, I am really worried that you will not be able to enjoy yourself and since someone is going to need to watch the baby during the ceremony and reception anyways, I think that you need to bring someone with you to care for him. If your husband can't come, why not bring your regular babysitter, or I can find someone here in Dallas." She isn't expecting to have the baby at the ceremony or reception right??? Sounds like maybe she should just come as a guest or something........