Hello! I'm also new to the group and am so glad I came across it! My husband and I are renewing in Vegas on 12-12-12, which will be our 11th anniversary (been together for 16). For some reason (and I know I'm probably not alone), I feel the need
to explain the reason for the renewal...only because I'm afraid of getting frowned upon. I know most people here won't or wouldn't, but I'm still feeling insecure about it. Forgive me for saying that and forgive me if I get lengthy. Here
goes...
Our first wedding was a DISASTER from start to finish! My husband and I were young when we married (I was 22, he was 25) and the wedding was small (about 25 people total). My husband never proposed, it was "suggested" by my dad because we
already had a child together. How romantic, right? I honestly feel we were both too young and naive to know what we were getting ourselves into, as we had always had a very turbulent relationship. Aside from the ring and dress, everything else was funded
by our parents. We had little control over anything. The day I picked up my dress, my MOL told me that it wasn't worth the price because it is something I'd wear for only one day...and also that I wasn't worth wearing something that expensive. Same
goes for the ring. She and my husband's aunt literally went down to pick it out for me and my husband because my aunt was "good at bargaining". At the time, I felt like I didn't even deserve a ring, so I honestly didn't care about how big or small
it was. My husband had a different idea and was furious at the fact that they picked out something small, cheap and plain without any consideration as to what I thought. They tried talking me into loving it. I ended up with a very expensive diamond
and setting of my husband's choosing. I love it to this day, because he felt so passionate in getting me something that was way out of the budget...because he loved me that much and felt I deserved it. We lied to our parents about the cost, because
it did put us in debt for a good while. LOL! It remains our little secret until this day.
Anyway, the ceremony was the worst of all. I had an officiant that my MOL forced us to use since he was a family friend that happened to live in Vegas. I wanted to use the venue's officiant. The vows I was made to repeat were terrible. I'm not a
"stand behind your man" kind of gal...I'm the "stand beside him" type. Basically, it was all about being subserviant to my husband because it says so in the Bible. Ugh. I'm sorry, but we're not living in biblical times, as much as I love the
Lord.
Here's where it gets awesome...ALL of my in-laws arrived 10 minutes late into the ceremony. The wedding coordinator waited as long as she could, but said we needed to start because she had another wedding planned shortly after ours. It's Vegas,
afterall. I was so pissed and sad for my husband...because chances were, they were going to miss part of it, if not the entire thing. WHO FREAKING DOES THAT?! I mean, I know they didn't think highly of me to begin with, but STILL...THAT'S THEIR
SON!! And because of this, my own mother decides that she is too mad to show up to my reception. I couldn't believe it. So of course, I cried for almost the entire time. Everytime I think back to our wedding day, I feel sad and angry. My SOL just got
married about 5 months ago and they were on time and everything went perfect. I was happy for her, of course, but part of me was jealous and sad. I don't have many happy memories of our special day, but now is our chance to wipe the slate clean. More
importantly, however, we are re-dedicating ourselves to one another with a newfound understanding of what it means to be married and with an awareness of how to love maturely, deeply and spiritually. We didn't have this kind of knowledge 11 years
ago.
I have already purchased my dress (I panicked thinking it would be discontinued soon) and have paid for a deposit at the Venetian for the ceremony. It will be a very private affair this time...just my husband, my son and I as well as anyone else
who decides to tag along. I think my parents are coming, but I'm not sure yet. My mom talks like she is.
I'm just about ready to pay for our photography deposit in a few weeks. I'm excited, but have received a lot of negative comments from people who think it's unnecessary and a "waste of money". I'm still struggling with it. Another reason
people think I'm wanting to do this is because my SOL just got married and that I'm jealous and want attention...which is EXTREME BULL. I've been planning this in my head from the day after we first got married 11 years ago. It pisses me off just
thinking about all the reasons why people are against this, because they have NO IDEA how hurtful it all was to me.
Sorry this got long and whiney, but that's our craptacular story. I must sound like total B. Above all, I'm just hoping to get some support here and pick up some ideas and such. Thanks for reading this far and hope to chat with you all
soon.
*Hugs*
ninespiralx
