I posted this on the main forum, but I thought you ladies may have more insight to this or suggestions. So I saw a post somewhere that a bride wasn't having a bridal shower because she was having a DW. Is this the norm? I am planning a DW and don't want to miss out on any of those things. I don't see why you couldn't or shouldn't. Should I not be expecting this? I'm wondering now before everything is all signed off on because if I'm going to miss out on everything that goes with a wedding, I will seriously consider changing my mind. Thanks in advance!

Lol. laughing at your saying "before i sign of".

Umm..i think its all on you.

Im definetly having a shower. 2 matter a fact.

1 in NY (Mom & BM's doing this) and 1 in Atlanta (MOH doing this).

Sooo i think its really up to you. I dont see why not? Your a bride right?

How is your AHR  planning going? Do you have a theme for that too? Wearing another dress? How fun! Kinda wish we could do one so i can wear another dress. haha

FH said NO! Jamaica is it. lol

I don't think it's the norm at all.  I'm def having a shower. 

I'm not having a shower because there is no one to throw me a shower or even come to one if I throw it myself, but I think if we lived back home we would have one.

I am not having one, just cause most of the people who are coming are from out of state and I don't want to invite a bunch of people to feel like they have to come when they can't come to the wedding. 

I'm having an office shower, thrown by a coworker of FI's (we worked in the same office until he changed jobs).  I actually did a lot of research on this, because I know the rule of "shower guests MUST be invited to the wedding", but apparently the exception to that rule is if it's a work shower, which is a great relief to me, because how would I say no to my friend who offered, or how would I be able to invite coworkers to a shower but not the wedding, kwim?

My mom wants to throw me a shower as well, which I know is against tradition, (immediate family is not supposed to host), but in that case I'm screwed, because my MOH is my cousin, and the only other people who could host it are family as well, so I guess if my mom/MOH want to go in it together that'll be really nice. :)  We'll wait and see.

Thanks for the advice ladies. Wow, you all have had conversations with folks already about your showers? Nothing like that has been discussed yet. I haven't asked all my girls yet but 3 are my sisters so I don't know what's up with that. Did you bring up the subject or did your hostesses? I don't know how you're supposed to do this thing!

@dainty--still working on the AHR. I will wear the same wedding dress, but I am buying a different dress for TTD. I bet you could do an AHR fairly inexpensive. If it's just about the additional expense and your FH sees that it can be done for a reasonable amount, do you think he'd go for it? Let me know. I'll share ideas.

instead of doing an AHR, or a typical bridal shower, we're doing a couples shower, but not saying it is a couples shower, more of a celebration. i've been working my butt off to get invites out for those! omg this is so much work!!!!

@zlie-i never heard of a couples shower? how does that work?

We are doing an engagement party in November, the one year anniverary of when we bought our house.

@Sunny-I think its because of our guest count why he's against it. We are Jamaican right, so we have like 100 guests as it is and this is scaling the list down A LOT. We have about 80 traveling from the US between both families and then the ones that live in Jamaica already. And all my friends are coming because they are big time love to travel sort of friends. We have a travel group and im the 3rd one in the group having a destination wedding (the others were in jamaica and mexico).

So because of that we just decided no on the AHR because of the cost of feeding all those 100 people. lol. And just put the money towards a great honeymoon. Hopefully we get some help from his family. My family is paying for a few things.

We are having an engagement party though at the house  sometime in the fall (small, like 15 people tops and appetizers). Really just for parents families to finally meet.

I just saw a wedding show and they did a AHR and it was very cute! You can realy put your creativity into it. You will def enjoy both! Its like having 2 weddings which what girl does not want that? lol. :)

@dainty - basically instead of just doing a bridal shower, we decided to with doing a couples shower, basically we're just inviting everyone our list (because we know that more than half the people won't be able to make it to aruba) and we still want them to have part of wedding festivities. and it should be fun! check out my bio for some of the details!