Dear people I encounter on a weekly basis:

I gave up the idea of a New Year's Resolution about "I'll lose weight!" "I'll eat better!" this year because I know I won't and frankly I don't want to. I do, however, need to work on coming across as a more intelligent individual than I do now. In that spirit, I made this resolution:

I'll stop swearing and start being nice to people.

Well, thanks to you a-holes, I've already had to amend that. Yes, already. Six days into the new year. How I thought I'd make it another 300, I don't know. Now it's just "cuss less and don't be mean to people that don't deserve it."

So, thanks for driving me crazy. At least I didn't say I'd stop drinking, because that would be a total failure.

I think you made a valiant effort in trying to not swear and be nice to people. It's more than I would have done! In fact I think I swore more in the last few days than I have in the last half of last year! HA!

I maintain that they deserve it! I'm sure I'd be a much nicer person if people were smarter.