I was hoping never to have to say this, but our bean was not viable. :( We are devastated, but trying to be positive and not be bitter. I went for my bloodwork on Thursday while I was out running errands. I had them done at a lab (as
they had directed me to when I went for the IUI) instead of at their office. The numbers did not come back where they were expecting them to be and when I heard back from the office, they did not think this was a viable pregnancy.
Actually, talking to the nurse was horrible b/c she was already talking to me as if my cycle had begun and I never had any indication anything was wrong - and when I said so to her, she was still awful.
I was still getting BFP on the HPT, but the digi changed back to negative by Friday night. I cried and cried all night on Friday and had an especially tough day yesterday since I had a baby shower to go to for my cousin and the bleeding
started when I woke up. I didn't even get to tell anyone (other than DH and you ladies) about the BFP before it was gone. I did tell my aunt when I got to the shower b/c I just wasn't sure I could even handle being there and I didn't want
to abruptly leave with no explanation. It actually helped to tell her because she was so wonderful and understanding. I stayed for a little while, but had to leave once the gifts started coming out. It was too awful. So, honestly, I came home
and had some drinks and then just laid on the sofa with DH. I told him I felt like my uterus was coated in teflon since nothing seems to stick to it. We decided though that we need to just move on and try again as soon as we are able. I know
several people who have m/c and gone on to get viable BFP the following month. Hopefully, we will be so lucky. I go back to the dr. tomorrow to see what they say. In the meantime, I am putting on my big girl pants and putting up the outdoor
decorations that are sitting in my foyer (I was so excited the other day I went out shopping and it's all just staring at me here anyway). It won't be easy, but I have had a lifetme of horrible things to get through, so I will carry on as I always do
and pray that someday things will work out.
Sorry this is so long, just wanted to get that all out there. Thank you all again for all the support and incredibly kind words and well wishes you have shared with me. GL to the rest of those testing soon - I will be thinking of you
ladies.
