My bestfriend is a single mom and her daughter is 5 yrs. old. well they are getting evicted and she hasn't paid the rent since July. She has no where else to go and no money to try and save her apartment. So she asked if she can move in with me. Well I live in a 2 bedroom apartment. And the other is my sons room of course. I am so stuck about what to do. Because I really enjoy my space and the alone moments FH and I have. If I let her move in here then my son would have to sleep in the room with us. And I feel like my son is way to big to share a room with us he is 6 yrs. old. But at the same time I don't want her and my goddaughter out on the streets. Is it shelffish of me to feel that way? And what insight can you give me to help with this.

This is a hard one. I would be in a rut of not knowing what to do either. Talk it over with your FH and go from there.. Is there a way you can make another room into a bedroom...?? Not sure how it's set up.. Maybe you can get a umm I don't know the name or can't think of the name, but its a devider wood thing that maybe you can set up in your room to block off from where your son would be so you can have some privacy.. I hope that doesn't sound mean or rude or anything..
It is not selffish of you to feel the way you do. I would want our alone time as well. At the same time I would not want my friend and child on the streets. Isn't there any shelters around for woman and children? Maybe a housing place that does a 6 month thing for woman and children the rent is a dotation it can be a dollar.. but they have 6 months to get on there feet and there own place..
Maybe talk with you FH and see what he says and then talk with your friend and tell her this definitally can not go beyound a few months.. That you will help her but she has to try her best to be able to get something.. There has to be some kind of solutions..

NOT TRYING TO START ANYTHING! PLEASE don't take this the wrong way whom-ever is reading this...
Single mothers tend to always be able to find something, a low income housing.. Some take advantage of this and they don't work therefore there rent is like 5 bucks a month sometimes around here where I live, it's free.. a "friend" of mine paid 20 bucks a month for rent for her and her daughter, was getting food stamps and 300 a month in cash assistance.... 
Then there is a single mom upstairs in my apartment building who has 3 kids a teenage boy and 2 little girls whom are BAD, loud, no respect and she works her butt off to manage and I feel bad to try and get her attention in a nice way when I tell her look your kids are being loud every night when you go to work 3rd shift, they are stomping and whatnot..
it's hard...
I dont' know what my entire point is about all this.. Just there has to be some kind of help, maybe not over night but if you allow her to stay with you, give it a month or so and either you do it yourself, make those phone calls to low income places or push her to do that..


Good luck!! :-D

Mayo you right about programs for low-income. I knew a girl that was only paying $25 a month because she had no job. If you do decide to let her move in, make a deadline and definetly let her know this is TEMP. Have she looked into different programs besides stamps. Check out some churches, community programs that would either pay her rent or help her find housing.

I agree with both of you. I feel like some peole to take advantage of the system. I have a friend who's husband is in the Marines. and she lies to get food stamps, housing, and free childcare. She tells them that they are seperated. And menwhile I am working full time, go to school full time and same with my FH. and I can't even get health insurance for my son who has alot of medical problems. I see it all the time. It sucks when someone is really trying and they fee las if they aren't getting ne where.

It will only be until she gets her income taxes. Fh doesn't mind because that is just him. He will help ne one. I am kinda worried. I really don't feel comfortable leaving any women in my house while I am at work all day. FH is home during the day and works at night and she only works fri- Sun. So that is another issue. I am not saying that they will try anything but hey you never know. She will have to have foung her own place by the end of Feb. Also she is seeing aguy but he is much older and has his teen son living with hin in a one bedroom apt. And I am not sure if I feel comfortable with with having him come over at night. I am very picky of who is in my house especially with my son being here. I want to help her but I don't want it to end a friendship. But she has no one else

also if i do let her live here how much do i charge her. My rent is 1000 plus i have to pay lights which is about 120 a month.

I have central air, wash/dryer and a dishwasher.

As far as charging maybe, if she can or does get foodstamps she can pull it off and get them while living with you, and that can be somewhat of a payment to get the food for the house.. but if she only works weekends and is trying to save it's hard to say how much to actually charge her.. I'd say like $150 a week or something but then that might be her entire check...

a little background on me... I had hurt my back, was out of work for 3months, had a bad family doctor.. then all said and done released back to work. after about 2 weeks being back I ended up quiting it was way too much on my back and stressfull not to mention how i was treated.. Anyway, I'm in the process of trying for disability. FH and I live with my parents. We can not afford anything on just his income.. KLD I do not know how you do it with 1000 a month WOW.....anyway, I was able to go to the welfare office and tell them, I'm living with my parents, they are on a set income, they want me to help pay for me being there, I can't work, blah blah.. Well in the end I got foodstamps, and this is how we provide with us being here.. We help the best way we can and I use every penny to provide food, drinks in the house.. My dad being who he is, doesn't like this too much but I try to out around him and get as much as I can on my own...
Being she has a child, and may not be able to help finicially for her living there, this may be a chance for her to get foodstamps and help that way.. 
This is just an idea.. other then that I don't have anything...

I hope it all works out for you and her.. And I also know what you mean by not wanting all this to hurt the friendship...  

I honestly don't know how we pay 1000 a month and gof forbid if we arelate then it's 1075. And I get no help at all nothing from the state. They claim that my income is too much. And it's very hard, we strugle. I was thinking of telling her 450 a month the would cover rent as well as lights and cable. If she does live her it will be an additional two people and an added expense. She will have to buy food and what not. My main concern is really my son. We aorked very hard to get our own place. So that he can have his own room. Let me give you all an idea of my son. He is no regular 6 yr old. He is 4 feet 5 inches and 110 lbs. He is a big boy. Yes FH and I have a king size bed but I don't want to share it with my 6 yr. old. And FH says it's ok now. But once it happens then it can be a different story. It will really change my household. And I am not sure that I am ready for that change. So I do have alot to think about. And also so does have a boyfriend. And I don't know him at all. I wouldn't want him comming to my house and going through my kitchen and he def can not sleep over. But then I feel as if she is paying rent to I really have the right to tell her what she can and can't do???

OK-- so I don't want anyone to think I'm a bit** b/c I do sympathize with your friend. However, I don't think I would do it. Even though there is a deadline, about 99% of the people who have been in this situation set a deadline and have the person living with them for MUCH longer. Also, 1000 is on the low end for my area so I definitely feel your pain on this one. If a woman with children moves into your apartment, your utilities will skyrocket with water, electric, etc. Your food bills will skyrocket... and you know that she will be able to do little to nothing to help you. Also, since you live in an apt. there is probably a limit to how many people you can have living with you and if the landlord or someone else finds out you can get in trouble not only with the complex but also with the law. I know a few people this has happened to that got evicted for having too many people living under the same roof. Not saying this will happen, but is it a risk you are willing to take? Honestly, I would do my best in helping her find resources available to single mothers in the area. Maybe I would even offer to watch her kids for her from time to time. But I would NOT allow her to move in with me.

I agree with NAB...DON'T DO IT!  I don't think it is cool to have another woman living in your house with your man there...not saying anything would happen, but I definitely wouldn't do it.  I understand that she is your BFF and she has a daughter but doesn't she have family she can go to?  And if she has a man, why is he not helping her?  Too much comes with letting people stay in your house, FH's brother stayed with us a week, and it was the  longest week of my life, because you really can't be comfortable in your own house, when you have "guests" things you normally do, you can't do.  Bills get high, food get's eaten up, everybody is out of sorts.  It is just too much. 

You have to do what your gut is telling you to do, I feel like either way, your friendship might become strained with her, if you tell her no or if you tell her yes.

I have to agree with NAB and Chances. If you know she's not going to be able to help with paying for things I would suggest not doing it. Are you going to be able to pay rent, water, electric, food and cable with 2 extra people being there and her not being able to help out much? I love my friends to death and I'd do pretty much anything for them, but I honestly don't think I'd be able to live with them. I like my alone time and I like being able to do anything I want to in my own apartment. If someone else is living with you you'll both have to watch what you do at all times and you might not feel very comfortable in your home. I completely agree with you about the boyfriend. I have issues with men in the first place. It is extremely hard for me to trust them. I wouldn't let some strange guy I don't know into my home, especially overnight.

In the end it's up to you and your FH and you have to do what you think you can handle and what you want.