presents! presents! presents!

This is a 2 part question.  The first part is; what do you give a dad? or a father in law as their gifts.  I've thought about everyone else but the dad's?  not cufflinks b/c they come with our tuxes.  I want to get them somethign great I just have no idea what.  Any idea?

Part 2 question is that I invited my bio-dad who I'm not close to.  But he is bringing my little sisters who I adore and am very close to so thats the only reason I even keep in touch.  He has never done anything for me but he is flying in from Canada and briging the girls so thats the first decent thing he's ever done in my whole life.  So now, do I need to buy him a gift as well?  And what should I get him?  I'll be giving everyone their gifts at the rehearsal diner and I don't want him mad or to feel singled out.  So I'm thinking I'll have to get him something as well-ugh I don't want to....

Ooooh that's a tough one.  For my dad I'm going to try and give him some season tix for the Warriors since that's what he's ALL ABOUT.  I'm trying to do that as well for any gifts I'm giving--specifying it to their tastes.  If you do that with your bio dad too...it's a way to give everyone a specific gift and letting you vary what you get him (read: less expensive if you choose).

On another note can I just say how incredibly impressed I am with you that you had the guts and heart enough to put yourself out there, bite the bullet, etc. etc. to invite your bio dad.  I know that was a really difficult decision for you.  Congrats on being the bigger person!

thanks I appreciate that.  tickets is a good idea my dad (step dad) would love concert tickets.  the problem is that I don't know my bio very well and have no idea what he would like.  haha its like giving a stranger a gift??? so sad.

i know, i'm sorry hun.

but you can also get away with a bit more of a generic gift too.  like a nice bottle of wine with some fancy stoppers??

Is a card not enough?  It seems like an honest, heartfelt note would be really touching and meaningful.

I wish that would work but he is such a difficult man and thinks the world owes him. He is not very logical and very emptional-he's like a 13 year old girl. hahaha when dealing with him its always a delicate situation b/c you never know how he will react or take things.  Once I told him for his b-day  hey your another year older another year wiser wishing you all the best in the years to come. and he took it wrong and I guess talked a lot of shit and I got an angry e-mail from my sister saying that I called him old and that he is the wisest man she knows bla bla (she is 12) so she is just repearting what he must of said.  SO I forwarded what I wrote him and she said that its totally different then what he explained and even a 12 year old got it that I wasn't insulting him in any way.  But apparently he didn't get it.

Well I wouldn't put too much stress into what you choose since it sounds like whatever you do, he won't be satisfied.  So just do something that is manageable for YOU to show your appreciation of him coming.  I think it's enough that you're the one that's offering the olive branch here, but I think just a little something would be just fine along with a card.

thats a good idea thanks.  I think you're right.  I just worry about people stressing me out on the day of.  I just don't want any drama.  Thanks for the advice you are always so helpfil :)

You could also put your 12 year old sister on the task of coming up with a secret present for her dad.  Since it sounds like she lives with him, she might know.  She could come up with something she would never be able to buy him since she is 12, but he would like.  Plus it would give her a special task.

I got my dad an engraved business card holder, he loved it.  For my FIL, I got him cufflinks, even though the tux comes with one I wanted him to have something that he could treasure forever (and he didn't have cufflinks, so they were his first pair!).  He really loved them.

For my mom's husband (notice I didn't say step-dad) I got him a gadget tool (like a swiss army knife) from Things Remembered.  He really liked that too.

GL... I know it is hard dealing with our families and our relationships with them during this time, so I definitely give you kudos for inviting your dad and trying to include him.