Project Marriage

You know, we may already have a "group" for this but something occurred to me today.  This site is dedicated to everything weddings: the proposal, the rings, the cake, the bridal party, the reception, the food, the gifts, the honeymoon, the dress, etc., etc.  I don't know about everyone else, but I am a little fearful that my "wedding" may be overshadowing my "marriage".  Let me explain.  I love my fiance and I am certain that he loves me.  We intend on spending the rest of our natural lives together, in sickness and in health, good times or bad.  But I don't want to get so focused on the wedding that I forget about what we are committing to.  I have been so busy organizing the linens and ordering the cake and the food and making sure I get in shape to fit into my dress that I feel sort of guilty for not putting as much (if not more) time and effort into making sure that my MARRIAGE is just as fabulous.  I am going to be sharing my life with this one person forever!  My heart literally skips a beat everytime I think about it.  Don't get me wrong, its a great nervous feeling but its also a little overwhelming.  Am I getting cold feet?  No, I just take the prospect of getting married and the institution of marriage very seriously.  So the question I have for us today is not what colors we are using or what food we are serving or what we favors we are giving to our guests, but rather, what are the things that each of us are doing to ensure that our MARRIAGES our an even greater and more beautiful success than our WEDDINGS? 

DirtyMartini said something that resonated with me.

Make a conscious choice to love each other every day..no matter what.

oh...I forgot to add, I would ESPECIALLY like to hear from those PWers that have already tied the knot.  How are things going so far?

Wow, that makes one think!

I agree with you wholeheartedly, in the planning process, me and my laptop, had become almost best friends, once i realized how much time i was spend browsing, even cooking was put on the backburner, one day i just woke up, (realized the threads on PW arent going anywhere) now once he walks thru the door, laptop is put away, and its our time.I know he loves attention, and i ensure that our evenings after work, are just that "OUR" evenings.

In the marriage, most couples only go to counseling when soemthing is astray, I feels couples should go every now and then just for a "tune up", to ensure the right path is being taken, and definitely my goal is not to let the day to day monotny  take over our relationship, most of us women are content with the day to day, some men need more, treat it like a PT job,maybe Ft put as energy into it, as you would anything else

Double post.

I like that.  I'm glad that love is not equal to like.  There are days when I literally want to do something very bad to him....esp when he drapes his dirty clothes all over everything!!! Ughhhhhh!!!! LOL

FI and I addressed this issue before we got engaged--thorough counseling and even now we are reading and continuing to learn about ourselves and living together forever.

I've always said, planning a wedding is fun--but sometimes people forget marriage is forever and saddly some of our PW ladies will end up divorced in a few years.

I didn't know there was a "group" for this, I need to join!

Marriage is really great, but it does require effort. The biggest challenges for us so far have been jointly budgeting our money, and splitting household chores. It just takes some adjustments, but well worth it = )

@lcornish: I'm glad you said that.  My FI has literally been begging me to spend some time with him, saying that all I do is stay glued to the internet all the time and then don't get home til 11:00pm because I've been running all around all day meeting with this person and that re wedding plans.  That's not fair.  I need to do better.  I don't want him to feel like this wedding is more important than US.  I mean, I know that a certain amount of commitment is required to plan a wedding but I just don't want to lose perspective.  The wedding is important, yes, but the marriage (and a successful one) is waaaaayyy more important and is ultimately, the goal. The wedding afterall, is just a party.

@jbl04d: I don't think there's a group...I thought there may have been but I looked around and I don't think there is.

Joint finances...don't get me started.