PW Guide Article: RSVP Gripes

I agree somewhat with this article. I do not think people should have to give an "excuse" as to why they declined an RSVP. And maybe it is me being petty, but I don't think the bride/groom/planner should follow up a missing RSVP with a call. If I send out a Save-The-Date,  and in my case, a separate flyer (destination wedding) with the travel agent info, pricing, date, and resort info, then an invitation with an RSVP (with a stamp)...why do I still need to call? I have people who begged to be invited then never returned the RSVP. I'm NOT calling, emailing, sending a smoke signal, nothing! People know if they are coming or not, so I don't think it's our responsibility to track people down and hold their hand while we are planning the wedding.

@ tiffani1980  I agree

ditto tiffani!!!!

I feel very lucky in the fact that I'm doing a DW and the venue is providing a report to me monthly (then weekly when it gets closer) as to who has booked rooms or not - if they don't return the RSVP, well I still have the room report so I know who is coming or not!

That's my biggest problems at the moment...

My wedding is in May, but the hotel can only reserve the rooms until early Feb. We need to book then. So we asked our guests to RSVP at the end of Jan lastest.

Our invitations (we mailed already in October) just had our wedding homepage's address (which has all details on it) and our full contact information. 2/3 haven't RSVP yet and I'm getting nervous. There is still a month to go, but I'm wondering if someone might have problems getting online or sth. similar. On the other hand - everybody has our phone no. and could just call.

It's probably normal to be so freaked out, I guess/hope/figure...

chnick - don't panic yet!  Remember that alot of people get wrapped up in Christmas and probably figured they'd take care of it after the holidays =)

I've never heard of writing an explanation for a decline & I wouldn't expect one. 

Okay...I have to say that I think hounding a person is very tacky.  While I think it is nice to give a reason for not attending a wedding, I certainly don't think it's necessary.  I also think it is somewhat low-class to follow up with a person: GET OVER YOURSELF.  I think following up would be good if you have a close friend or relative who did not show, but certainly not EVERY person!  One thing that I am happy to realize is this: contrary to stupid reality shows that have made it socially acceptable to be rude and self-centered on one's wedding day, I have the sense to know that THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND ME JUST BECAUSE I AM A BRIDE.  I say, be polite and do call if a RSVP is not mailed; if that call gets ignored, then assume that person is not coming to the wedding...and just remember it for next time there is a milestone celebration in your life.  :)

I can definitely see getting aggravated with people who don't send their RSVP and I do think it is a good idea to follow up with those people. These events cost money and I am sure their have been instances where people came without an RSVP. A follow up call isnt rude or impolite its a mature solution. I have already sent out my invites and my wedding is in August and I have been recieving an RSVP daily.