PW Guide Article: RSVP Gripes

While I would feel a little disappointed with "no", I wouldn't call them up . An RSVP is just that - if they say no, then they're not coming for one reason or another. I don't expect my guests to have to justify why they're not coming by way of an excuse.

The other thing I don't agree with is :

Half RSVPs -

Another RSVP gripe is if you actually do receive the RSVP for an invitation which allows for one guest to accompany the recipient - but the recipient doesn't inform you that a guest will also be coming.  This can make it difficult to get an accurate head count for the food, favors, etc.  If you aren't sure whether the recipient is bringing a guest to the wedding, always assume that they are.  Again, having too many chairs and places is better than not having enough.

Our reception dinner is costing approx. $150 per head. I certainly don't want to be paying $150 a head on the offchance that the 'guest' is coming, or be faced with empty seats at tables. I would much rather call and verify rather than assume.

double post grrr

good post. I agree with the not wanting to assume on half rsvps- but you're completely right to say call! People get off their butts and get information to you when you're on the phone with them and they have no escape! lol

a family member recently upset a relative by not including them despite them sending an RSVP.  the rsp had not been scrbed and so they had not known who it was from or if it was an acceptance or refusal. to aleviate this, i have numbered my rsvp so when i receive them back, i can use the numbers to correspond with the people they were sent to.  so far it has not been a problem but i have one less worry..

I totally agree with Tiffani1980...We don't have the same name for nothin' (lol)...

I've already had an issue in regards to guests (close friends) who did not rsvp when it came down to my engagement party (April '10). They did not rsvp and were not included. In my eyes, if our friendship was important enough, they would have rsvp'd within the time frame given. I got responses like, "Oh Tiff you knew I was coming," or "Oh Tiff, I forgot, when is the engagement party again?" That last one was like a slap in the FACE and you would not believe that it has been 7 months later and I have not heard from those same people. It was 3 in particular and I work every night with 2 of the 3. They don't day a word! What the hell are you mad for? I was upset in the beginning but we had a blast and I'm over it. The party went on with or without their presence...

Sorry I just had to vent...but LOVE the article  =)

what about those people who RSVP last minute? Especially for more than was on their invitation, which we went ahead and made an exception, and then none of them showed anyway and we paid per head :( we still had fun anyway but man so frustrating

I agree with Tiffani.... I don't see the point in making a follow up call to find out as to why exactly someone chose to not come. Maybe they couldn't afford to make the trip or whatever and they prefer not say why, or may even get mad feeling like they need to explain themselves. If they can't come, they can't come. Besides, who has to time to make those calls anyway? We have enough stuff going on!

In the age of the e-vite and facebook, the tradtional invitation (having to mail an RSVP) has all but disappeared for parties (except weddings). I think you should absolutely call if you did not receive the RSVP. There are several scenarios including never recieving the invite, RSVP getting lost in the mail, guest lost RSVP, forgot, figured that verbal communication was enough etc. Herding guests are like herding cats..i.e. impossible! 

Great tips! My friends aren't exactly the formal type, so getting an RSVP out of everyone may be a bit of a challenge.

I am not wasting my time to call decliners. I don't take offense to them declining and don't really care why they are not coming. No harm done. Instead I appreciate them declining on an RSVP instead of saying nothing and not coming.