Becuase we are having a destination wedding I want to do a welcome party for my guests and then the night before a rehersal dinner for just the wedding party and family. Is this fair to not include everyone at the rehersal dinner? Is anyone having the same issue as me?

I don't see anything wrong with including only the wedding party in your RD - as someone else pointed out to me, inviting EVERYONE to the RD is like having your wedding dinner twice, since everyone will be at the reception anyway, kwim?

I'm planning on having a welsome party that will consist of heavy hor d'ouerves and two signature coctails and I will distribute all the OOT bags at that time.

We are having a welcome dinner the friday night before the wedding and inviting EVERYONE as a token of our appreciation for coming to our wedding.

Go FOR IT!!

Well those are some good ideas. I could just have a cocktail party for all the guests and maybe just a RD for the family and wedding party. I just have to be careful of money you know

what are OOT bags bobbettp

We are also planning a welcome party and trying to decide if we want to have it the night before the wedding (which will be a Friday) or have it Thursday night (since that will be day that most of our guests will arrive). I am still not sure of a rehearsal dinner. I guess we should plan one of those too even though I feel like it won't be necessary for us. We are not having a flower girl or a ring bearer so I am trying to justify the purpose of a rehearsal dinner. I don't want our guests to feel consumed with 'us' the majority of their time in Aruba. I still want them to enjoy their vacation!

We are having a welcome bonfire Wednesday from 8-11pm with full bar and smores and finger foods for everyone.

Then since some people will becoming in on Thursday we are having a "Black and White Dinner" (themed where everyone wears black and or white. People love it and it will make awsome group pictures) instead of a rehearsal dinner so we could invite everyone. I was important to us to have our guest feel important for all the time and money they put into coming to our wedding.

Fridays the wedding

then Sat night we are doing farewell cocktails to say good bye to everyone because everyone leaves between 8am and 1pm on Sunday so brunch wouldn't work

We have most people coming in Wednesday before the wedding on Friday, so we decided to give them a chance to get checked in and settled and do their own thing the first night. Then Thursday it will be our welcome/rehearsal dinner for everyone since the wedding is so small, I think less than 20 ppl total will be there!

We are doing it seperate.  On friday we are having our welcome party (we're getting married in Michigan's UP)... basically a big bonfire.  and then on Sunday we will have a very small rd...  I wanted to be able to seperate out those who are very close to us for that intimate dinner.  I don't think that you are wrong in wanting to kep them seperate.