Second thoughts on the wedding band...

I never really thought about wearing them separately til a woman at Tiffany's told me about it. I can see why you admire the Cartier; it would be a great band to wear on its own.

what to do- I say : love the one you have and you'll have the option of wearing it with and w/o the engagement ring

: )

Hi Champ - I don't see anything wrong in getting another one. FI and I have two sets of wedding band. Your original band is the same as our travel band. If you really like it and can afford it, I say go for it.

GL

That is a good point theDame. One of the things I've encountered with my e-ring, that is driving me nuts, is people judge me by my ring. Either for better or worse. My hairstylist stopped talking to me last week when she introduced me to her two of her catty townie friends that saw my ring and instantly started to speak poorly of me. I think it was envy misdirected. I know that sounds horrid but these townies were seriously open about their gold-digging ways, but in a very ignorant hick way. I digress, unfortunately because of the service I'm going to be stuck in small towns where people, I've found, tend to be very judgmental about material things. Now how am I going to get my hair done in the middle of nowhere!? Just kidding, I mean no big loss but I'd rather not deal with things like that.

I would def not wear it with the Cartier out, in fact I'm not super fond of the fact that it says Cartier on the exterior but I like that it has character and that its a little different every time you look at it... And I've always admired the pave version of the Cartier so I've started thinking about the plain version. I guess until a couple years ago Memoire used to manufacture the Cartier ring. They still sell theirs so I thought about going with that so it doesn't say "Cartier" on the outside... and its less expensive ;)

Ms.sumomo, how did you feel about the orig ring? I love how delicate it looks because I bought a 2mm but I'm starting to think because its so delicate it makes my fingers look, well chunky for lack of a better word

Whoa Champ! I just read about your experience. That's awful. I would have been shocked. I say get what you want regardless of designer. It's very subtle and would likely never be noticed.

Can you wear your current band on the other hand? Maybe promise ring like, or put it on a necklace?

It makes me so mad that these small-minded, petty people would make you feel like you can't wear your own engagement ring! Are you sure that you can't just ignore them and do what you want? In my experience, people who are mean will find an excuse to be mean no matter what - if it's not your ring, it will be your hair, your ethnicity, your education - anything to make themselves feel less small. So I think if you can, just say screw 'em and wear what you like. HOWEVER, for you to even be having these thoughts makes me think you must be pretty uncomfortable, and if that's the case, you should do what you need to do to feel good about your ring. Personally, I would keep the original ring, which is simple and classic - but let your FI know that a nice 1-year anniversary present from Cartier would not be unwelcome! =)

We just talked about keeping my current band and just getting a second. I can wear both on the wedding day so they have equal significance but one is to be worn standalone and one with the e-ring for formal events. We also talked about getting the other one in a year as aching suggested, as a little treat!

S2BW and aching, I was so surprised at what was going on... These girls (I wouldn't even call them women let alone ladies) were gabbing about bagging an officer as their goal. Then they were saying things like, "Oh my gawd, he was sooo rich. He bought a bottle of wine." Imagine a really really thick hick accent and I nearly lost my breath with laughter but it was terribly awkward! And what you said aching about people finding every aspect of you as an excuse, its happened to me nearly daily since I left the city. Its the townies, they're just terrible! But FI is worth it!

Champ, that is really unfortunate that you had to go through all of that drama. SO UNNECESSARY. However, keep in mind that it is OBVIOUSLY apparent that they are extremely jealous of you and you will just have to rise above, which, it sounds like you already have. And that is completely pathetic that their whole goal in life is to, "bag an officer," but small town = small minds. So, screw them, lets talk about your ring! :)

I think that your original wedding band is lovely. Its feminine and, if you're engagement ring has caused such a stir among the girls of the town, it must command a presence, so you may not want to have anything much more than what you already have to accompany it.

I like your idea of keeping the band and getting a second. That is what I want to do too. :)

First of all, I know it is hard, but don't worry about what other people say. They obviously have their own issues to deal with and you can't let them get you down.

For your ring, I say do whatever makes you feel comfortable. As of right now I will have my e-ring and band. When we were getting the band they said that alot of husbands get their wives a 2nd band for the 1st anniversary so that the bands compliment each other on either side of the e-ring. So, if nothing else, definitely suggest it to your FI for a 1st anniversary gift. Also, both my band and my e-ring are 2mm and with just my band on I thought the same thing as you, but I think it is more because I am not used to it than anything else.