Should I feel bad/sad that my mother didn't get me a shower gift?

So I live in LA, my family lives on the East Coast. They were not going to travel here for my shower. No problem, we had a little lunch in NY last month, but it wasn't a shower just a get together. Well my official shower was this past weekend and my mom didn't send a gift or mention that she was going to send a gift (and neither did my SIL for that matter). They didn't even RSVP (even though we knew they wouldn't be able to travel). What's up with that? Not to be an ungrateful or greedy bride, but I feel a little dissappointed that they didn't think of me for my shower. Would you be upset too?

I would cut your family some slack. Some people (myself included) would assume that they don't need to get a gift for a shower they are not attending. I don't think it follows the wedding gift rule. About RSVP's, some people (myself NOT included) think that they don't need to call if they are not coming. So I would get past it and know that they care and will be there with bells on for your wedding!!

whoa i am guilty of this too then.  i've been unable to attend showers before and never got a gift.  i asked around before and everyone told me it was o.k. to not send a gift as long as i get them a wedding gift.  although... even that is optional technically.

but i feel you, you're dissapointed that they weren't able to be there with you, and that there wasn't a representation of them there in a gift either.  i probably would've wanted something as well...a card, a phone call.  but in reality they probably just didn't realize that you were missing them so much.

don't feel bad. i actually hope my mom and sisters dont give me any gifts. they're going to be (and already have) been helping me tons with the wedding.

did they give you a gift at the little lunch in NY last month?

Hey Ladies,

Thanks for the words. I myself have been invited to a ton of showers that I haven't been able to attend (including SIL) and I always send a gift, so maybe that's just me. I guess I was expecting my family to send something to honor the day since they couldn't be here.

WM,  My mom and SIL have not helped at all with the wedding and they didn't bring a gift tothe lunch last month, but I wasn't expecting them to. Since this weekend was the shower, I guess I thought they would? Like I said, I am not trying to be greedy or ungrateful, but it would have been nice to be thought of since they couldn't share the day. I will get over it.

I think it is normal. I would feel the same way. You cant really help it because if they were having a party you could not attend I am sure you would RSVP or send a gift. Everyone is different but I think some people are better with this sort of thing.

Maybe they didn't want o call b/c they thoguht you were busy that day? As for the gifts humm..maybe they are waiting til they see you in person or they will do something really special for the big day...just keep you head up. 

I was thinking the same thing as Just Another that they may be waiting to give you your gift in person. Either way, it is important to let them know how much you missed them both at your shower and wished they could have talked to you on that day. Even an email just to let you know they were thinking of you would have been comforting for you. They may not realize how you feel about sentimental touching gestures. Not about the actual gift, but about the care and thought of being with you for your special time of becoming a married woman.

RebelBride~ I actually agree and know where you are coming from- and I'm not a greedy person either haha I had my shower a few weeks ago- and that happened with a couple people.  I know some people don't know to- but I was more 'upset' with a few.  Kinda similar to your SIL's case.  I feel like Im more disappointed in some b/c I went out of my way for them before and was thoughtful- why can't they be fro me.  They didn't even communicate their decline, why some flaked, or to congratulate me... It was frusterating a little bit...

Sorry for the rant haha I just know where your coming from!

- HMM :)

ok. now i get it. i guess i would be sad too especially if you did something nice for SIL on hers. it is a special day. hopefully this means they'll get you something awesome as your wedding gift! but yeah, like sunset said, totally let them know how much you missed them and wished they could have spent such a special day with you. tell them about the presents you got and how grateful you are.

as far as the rsvp thing, i'm a ding dong but i never knew if you were NOT coming you had to rsvp too. ya learn something new every day!