weddings timed close to your own

so a very close friend of mine just told me that they put a deposit down on a wedding date 2 saturdays before mine. i told her my wedding date months ago, since we booked it in early january. she has hinted in the past that i'd be one of her bridesmaids. i know this sounds really selfish, but i feel a bit disgruntled.

they had an impromptu engagement 3 weeks after i got engaged, and now they're planning their wedding 2 weeks before mine. sigh. oh, did i mention her e-ring is the same size as mine as well (and her ring wasn't purchased until after i got engaged)?

am i wrong to feel upset about this?

No, not at all. DH's cousin got married a month after us and I was a little upset because they knew a year before they got engaged when our wedding was going to be, but they had to schedule theirs so close to ours! But since they didn't make a big deal out of it, I just let it go...

Seems like your very close friend is trying to "copy" you. Let's hope she is not getting the same dress as yours! Now, THAT I will be pissed about.

One of my bridesmaids is getting married 2 weeks after me. It really doesn't bother me. I was more concerned that I wouldn't be able to go because I would be on my honeymoon, but we worked around it. It's sort of exciting because we're going through this process at the same time.

I think it's natural to be upset. I'm just worried that she won't be able to enjoy my wedding since it's so close to hers. We're sort of having a destination wedding so we want people to come for the entire weekend.

The ring thing is a little odd. Do you think her FI didn't want there to be any competition?

Is the style of the ring similar? Hmm, that is a little odd. My friend went through the same thing - her BIL wanted to get married a month before them. However, my friend got engaged first and had been planning it much longer than her BIL. Her DH had a lot of family coming in from NY, so if the BIL got married first, they were afraid that the family would show up to BIL's wedding and not theirs because they wouldn't want to fly out twice to CA in a month. So after a lot of talking and going through the MIL, BIL got married at a later date.

I am (maybe) in a similar situation minus the direct copying, except the person isn't even engaged yet. At first I was upset that my moment was going to be stolen, but then I realized that a lot can happen during our year-long engagement. I am just trying to make it clear what I want for the wedding so copying can be avoided. You might want to talk with her. Maybe the date was the only other available? At least their mistakes can happen and yours can be avoided!

thank you all for your support and advice! i think i just reacted badly initially. i'm really happy for her, but i just wish it wasn't so close to my own wedding. i'm going to be stretched for time with both events going on. she had other options available, but they purposely selected that date.

her FI is competitive by nature, so i'm afraid that's what's driving most of this. he always wants to out do everyone. my ring isn't flawless or colorless, and he made it a point to tell her how he only wanted a colorless and flawless ring (which she reiterated to me). and yes, our e-rings are both round solitares, when she used to want a princess cut solitare.

moemarsita, i too was initially upset that she had upstaged my engagement, especially since they hadn't set any firm dates or purchased the ring. so it was still up in the air UNTIL i got engaged. then all of sudden, they were engaged.

mrsbabysalute, i didn't take her with me dress shopping, so she doesn't know what my dress looks like. if she got the same dress and sash, i think i'd be even more hurt by her actions.

i guess to me, it's about having consideration for others. i would never have scheduled my wedding 2 weeks before her's. i would have pushed it either forwards or backwards. it's not like they're in a hurry either, so there's no reason for them to select that specific date. sigh.

to all you girlies, i'm really sorry for rambling and complaining about this. i really appreciate you listening and giving me advice...

I hope this comes out the right way but... I think we forget that having a wedding is really about getting married. I don't think vowing to love, honor, and cherish for the rest of your life is something someone would do to compete with anyone, right? (or if it is, that is really really really sad for them!) So I'm sure she didn't do it on purpose! And if He bought the ring... then I'm sure that is a coincidence too? I totally understand how you're feeling though... this is your big day, but I am sure that there is enough love and happiness between all of your friends and family to go around and celebrate both! And just think... you could have a joint bachelorette in Vegas and really do it up with all your girlfriends!! :)

Sorry, Thundercould... I think we were both typing responses at the same time and i overlapped your repsonse. I guess I'm not sure what to say about all this new info! Have you said anything to them? Engagement rings are hard because they *always* get compared... whether they got engaged 3 weeks later, 3 months, or 3 years... I just don't know why they would want their own wedding to be a copy of their friends!? It just doesn't make sense to me! If that's what they are doing then they've got big problems!

A few weeks beforehand seems ok, though it would be nice for the weddings to be further apart. A friend of mine at first wanted to schedule her wedding the day before her friends. Luckily her mother in law requested that it be in July or August so she moved it. One day seems REALLY close.

Some people just have a competitive nature - and others are insecure. Try not to let it get to you and just don't tell her any of the details of your wedding. I have a friend who is constantly comparing aspects of our engagement/weddings - and she made comments that my diamond probably is poor quality since it's bigger than hers!

Some people are just like that. Best to leave them be and not waste your energy/time on these matters.