What do you girls think? =(

heres my two cents. it really sucks to be in the situation you are in, but its not the end of the world. as most of you know, im from the russian decent and it is customary to give money at russian weddings. no gifts! ( besides the few american guests). i have read on another foram of people poiletly asking for cash gifts on their invites. my two cousins got married in the last 2 years and each of their "gifts" paid off all their wedding bills and then some.

this is an idea, but you need to be super comfortable with it. we can all help you think of a polite way to word this in your invite, but this way you can keep going with your plans and have your wedding on your date and you wont have to change anything.

p.s. you can always get your toaster later on. :)
just an idea!

I think waiting a year to have your wedding is a great idea. Time goes by so fast anyways that the year will be here before you know it. Plus you will have more time to plan out your wedding. For now just settle down in your new home and please don't get into debt by any means. That's the worst way to start a marriage. Elope if you must. There are many places and different ways to make eloping special. What is really important here is your happiness and being together, debt-free. So good luck and I'm sure your family will support your decision in the end. Us girls here at PW will!!

If I were in your position, I'd wait too. We just got engaged and are thinking of marrying in late 2009 or early to mid 2010 because it's when we can realistically forsee being able to afford a wedding. We're thinking of having a small wedding (50 ppl tops) but as you mentioned, costs add up and I don't want to start our married life with being in serious debt. The only debt we have now is my small student loan so money goes to expenses, paying off that and then whatever is left goes in the "cookie jar" for the wedding. When we're at the number we feel comfortable to proceed with booking venues, then we'll set a date and start the real planning. So with a mortgage if your lives now, I'd suggest you wait another year and save so that you don't have to ask for financial help and so that you don't get in serious debt. If marrying this year is truly important, then set a small budget, and invite close friends only and have it in your back yard. Just my two cents .:) Best of luck.

My husband and I just did that. We eloped in Vegas in December and are having a 'big wedding' in Feb. 2009. (we had to do it for immigration reasons)
Our family has been really supportive .... with the exception of the occasional snotty comment from an aunt or two. My only advice is to be aware of what you are doing. You don't want to make a decision you will regret.
Before we got married I was thrilled to plan the big, elaborate wedding but now that we're married and back to 'real life' (and working 60 hours a week!) , it kind of feels like a hassle. Just be sure it's what you want.

Good Luck!

I am with Moe and Champ on this...we are in the minority here, I guess. I say get married now and have a wedding that you can afford now. If you want to do it in Tahoe, invite close family and friends and do it for less than the big (more expensive) wedding that you've been planning. The thing is, think of all that you can do with the money you'd be trying to save up for a bigger wedding by putting it off for a year! You can upgrade your home or take a nice vacation, buy a new car, start a baby fund or retirement investments.

Just my $0.02 about the whole thing...

Would it be an option to get married at your new house? I think that would be awesome and so memorable. Or just take the plans you've made and scale them back a bit. As for cancelling the venue...it never hurts to ask. I had orginally booked a different resort, but when they couldn't meet our budget demands I asked to be let out of the contract. They refunded my $1000 deposit. At the end of the day, it would be easier to let your $1K deposit go (if they won't refund any of it) then to commit yourselves to debt either this year or next.

You can have a lovely wedding for $3-6K this year. I promise it can be done!

I read your bio and the location is lovely. I did notice that you plan in serving sushi, which in many cases can rack up the bill. Can you make a less expensive dinner choice? Also, since you haven't gotten your gown yet, maybe you can find a used one on eBay or one of the other second-hand wedding gown sites or buy a new one that is less expensive? There's lots of ways to cut costs...the best way is to lower the guest count. Every guest increases the costs exponentially. If you only invited immediate family and your closest friends, how many would that actually be? I think many times brides and grooms feel pressured to invite aquaintences and co-workers, when really, in the history of their lives, those people won't matter as much as the immediate family members and lifelong friends who attend.

Do whats in your heart and you feel is right. There really is no "hurry" to get married, but also I know your in love and excited. June is literally around the corner, so think quick! I gave myself 14 months and its fling bye! Is there a reason for that date, b/c even a couple more months can help you financially. Personally the wedding won't be worth it unless it's what you want.

Lastly, I believe you can do a wedding on a budget- although I know prices can be ridiculous! I have been to 3 weddings all over 30k+ and to me & guests it was no different then a 15k wedding (Unless thats your taste/ high class people, etc.) To me its about fun, and being MEANINGFUL.

Big cost factors are- the location and guest count. Were only doing 100 ppl which REALLY help cut costs vs. weddings with 200 ppl.
Country clubs and hotels typically have minimums- which get out of hand, b/c you have tax, and service charges, etc. Thats why we didn't do any of those options- I didn't want someone telling me how much to spend! I really thought things through when I started planning the wedding, I had to "learn" what this crap was all about. Now I look at weddings differently, and don't get caught up like some brides do. I have to step back sometimes and think what WE as a couple want. Hes not going anywhere, so do whats right, don't go in debt or anything over a wedding... Be realistic :)

I'm with moe, champ and Lori.

FI and I are homeowners too. We decided to tailor our wedding to what we can afford. It’s all depends on your preference. I don’t believe on spending arm and a leg for a wedding but that's me. My arm and a leg cost can be different from you guys and my cheap wedding is actually expensive to other people.

Anyhow, It's difficult to plan a wedding and at the same time pay for your mortgage but you're mortgage will still be there next year. It's really hard to save up when you are a homeowner (utility bills, unexpected repair, property tax, home insurance and other cost) IMO . If you and your FI have the discipline to save some money strictly for the wedding maybe waiting a year will be better off. Also, if you are really set on having a big wedding.

That being said, a budget wedding can look as nice as a platinum wedding, IMO.

Good luck!