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07/13/2010 at 12:13 pm

i have a great friend we well call her X an every time she calls me its either to complain about her jerk of a husband or her mother . she is always complaining an at first i thought she wanted my advise now i realize i think she just wants me to agree with her an while i can agree her husband is a jerk -once took her ring during a fight an told her she had to earn it back- i just get sick of hearing her bitch an  don't want to agree with her on something because i don't agree. i means its everyday almost

but what do you tell X when she calls crying her eyes out , she doesnt want to hear the bad or the reality of the matter

do i just sit there an be uh huh , ya , i know i see im sorry 

what would you do 

shes a great friend we have been friends since my sophomore year in high school so i want her in my life but sometimes the complaining is a bit much 

07/13/2010 at 12:35 pm

I would tell her that it's time she do something about it.  If she doesn't, she's not allowed to talk about it anymore with me.  I don't want to hear it if no action is being taken to make it stop/get better/go away.

I will still be here as a friend, but the situation is getting out of hand and I'm sorry.

I know it's harsh, but that's WAY too often to be calling someone like that.

Hope things get better :-/

07/13/2010 at 01:33 pm

Maybe she is in a vulnerable place and just needs to vent. I would just tell her that you have alot of stress right now and that maybe she should talk to a therapist or something. It might take some convincing but maybe she doesn't realize the burden she is putting on you, you need to tell her in a nice way.

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07/13/2010 at 01:44 pm

I'm with ChrisNScott, I have a friend who is very similar to your friend and I finally just had to tell her that if she wasn't willing to take advise and actually try it that I didn't want to hear about her problems anymore.  You can only listen to someone complain about the same thing for so long before you can't listen anymore. 

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07/20/2010 at 09:42 am

IM with chrisnscott too. Also, make yourself less available!! dont answer the phone for a few day.

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