How open are you being with people about TTC?  And once you get a BFP, how soon do you plan on sharing the news?

I'm a pretty private person, plus I have a fear of it taking a long time to TTC.  Right now the only people who know I'm on BCP is my dr. and DH. 

When we get a BFP I'd like to keep it to ourselves for a short while to enjoy sharing such an awesome secret, but I want to tell my immediate family right away.  We're really close with my family, and I want them to share in our joy as early as possible.  HOWEVER, my mom will be getting strict instructions to keep it hush hush.  Especially with our in-law problems, we can't afford to have anything slip to DH's family.  DH decided his family wouldn't know about a BFP until we make it public after the 1st trimester finishes.  My mom tells me people understand if you miscarry, but I don't like being the center of attention so I wouldn't want to "deal" with people about it.

Athena... you read my mind! I literally logged on this morning to ask the same exact question! It's something I've been thinking about (along with HOW I want to tell family and friends when the time comes). As far as TTC, we've only told a couple of our closest friends, but only when asked "when are you having a baby?!" We haven't told anyone just out of the blue. I want to keep it mostly on the DL for the reasons that you mentioned...you never know how long things will take, and I think sometimes pressure just makes things harder.

I know we'll tell our parents/siblings right away, and probably our closest family and friends at about 8 weeks...otherwise we'll probably wait until 12-14 weeks to tell the rest of the world. :)

We are not telling anyone at all until after the 1st trimester.  No parents, siblings, friends, nothing.  My BFF knows we are trying but she also knows that I will not tell her when it happens.  She mostly knows because she and her husband are talking about trying and I wanted to share some things I've learned about prepping for a healthy pregnancy.

When people ask of we are going to have kids we tell them that its still up in the air....because it is, its not a lie, we don't know if we will get pregnant....

@ Jenny - too funny!  It will make those people feel really special to find out at the 8 week mark.

we tell them that its still up in the air....because it is, its not a lie  <-- good point, Claire!  We developed our basement in 2012, so we kept telling people "after the basement is done".  Then that big project was done and people started to ask again so we said "after Europe".  So now we're getting some more questions, to which I say something about how we're really enjoying our time together and decided we're not in a rush.  But I like your line, I should start using it!

OR I tell the really nosey women at work "meh, we decided we don't want kids".  OR the time I was drinking gingerale this winter with an upset stomach and when someone asked if I was pregnant I responded "gosh NO!".  I love how the women at work will probably think our pregnancy was unexpected (when the day comes).  The ladies at work are the worst for it!

Everyone knew we were TTC for the majority of the year last year after losing our first LO in November of 2011.  We were cleared to start again in Feb 2012 and my family knew that but we didnt like officially announce to anyone we were TTC.  When we finally got our BFP we knew we wouldnt tell anyone until we hit that trimester mark where it's safe to tell because of our first experience.  However, my boss and both of our parents learned earlier than that because I had early bleeding again and we thought we were going to m/c again but everyone else learned after we hit the 2nd trimester mark and heared the heartbeat through the doppler for the first time.

We didn't tell anyone we were TTC. Everyone knew we were definitely not on the TTC track for the first year after the wedding. Once we got to the point where we were TTC, we still didn't tell anyone. But if people asked directly, we gave them some variation of "if it happens, it happens!" I did talk to my best friend throughout the process, only because she was also TTC. It was honestly wonderful to have you ladies here in this group and her in my personal life to chat with. And like Claire, my bestie knew we would probably keep it quiet if/when we got our BFP.

With that said, it was so hard to keep it from her once we got our BFP!! I ended up telling her at 8 weeks or so, because it felt like lying :-( And the point that women make about wanting support if something had happened...she is the only one that probably could have helped me through that. Aside from her, we told our parents at 6 weeks after we had seen the doctor and put them on a strict gag order. Then we told everyone else at the end of our first trimester. I work from home, so I was also able to wait to tell my boss at that time. It was SO, SO hard to keep our families quiet...longest six weeks ever! Lol

We didn't tell anyone that we were TTC and also we didn't tell anyone that we are pregnant until the first trimester test. It was the same when we were expecting our first one. I just think it's too private and on the other side when you get a BFP you never know if something goes wrong during the first weeks.

This is a really tough question.  We didn't tell many people when we first started trying (which was right away).  My sister knew and I told my bestie but no one else. Then trying dragged on for months and years and I was just so tired of people asking when we were going to have kids (plus it hurt to get that question at that point), so I finally told some people.  MIL was the worst offender and I yelled, cried, and pleaded with DH to just tell him mom the truth.  I think he was embarassed but everyone thought I didn't want kids or wouldn't let him try for them (I was in school so I think that played a big part of the assumption).  He didn't end up telling his parents the truth until I had my m/c.  I told them he needed to tell them everything - and I think he felt better once he did.  

As far as telling with the BFP, we never wanted to tell until after we made it through the 1st trimester, but we only got to 6 wks, and it was bad from the start.  Then they thought it could be ectopic and the dr. that called me about getting the methotrexate shot said the most horrible thing on the phone and I was in hysterics.  I needed to have someone to talk to.  So I told a few people b/c I was heartbroken.  This time around, I told my sister and bestie right away b/c I wanted them there for me from the start.  This go round we suffered from vanishing twin syndrome so I had mixed feelings there and was terrified the other baby would have problems too.  Craig had a fever when I was 5 wks, so he stayed with his parents and told them then (and his siblings).  My grandma got pneumonia, which caused heart failure, so I told her too and my mom when things looked bad for grandma, at about 10 wks.  Told my brother that weekend.  We are 13 wks tomorrow and are finally now telling friends and the rest of our family.  

I say all this b/c my bestie had a hematoma with her DS after 13 mos TTC that caused a lot of bleeding and theatened m/c, but she didn't tell anyone and cried every day. Her sister finally said to her at 9-10 wks, "N, I think you are pregnant and you seem to be having a hard time and I know you obviously are trying not to talk about it, but I am here for you and I want to help you so if you have anything you want or need to tell me, please do.  Anytime."  She said it was such a relief to finally tell her sister and have someone other than DH to turn to, b/c they were both so scared that it was hard to think straight.  When you are scared/stressed/whatever, it can be a huge help to have someone to talk to about everything.  Hopefully you all have any easier time with things, but if you have any struggles, consider telling a friend or family member who can think clearly and can be there for you.