@$$y RSVP's?

What do you do when your FI's "very good friend"/GM gives a really @$$y reason for not attending the wedding? Esp a month before... In this case its "I've decided to go on holiday in X location during your wedding so I'm not going to make it now." Even though we asked him to save the date six months ago and this is not an instance of travel costs being a problem. He could just be there for dinner and then go home. He's just being a little brat. I know it really hurt FI. I'm tempted to write this "friend" an email and tell him off although I know it would only make things worse. What would you tell your FI to console them, if anything can be said at all?

Geesh....that's a tough one.  I think that it just the rudest thing when people do that.  Perhaps your FI should re-evaluate his friendship with this guy. A "real" friend wouldn't do such a thing...unless the travel cost issue or something totally unavoidable arose....NOT a vacation.  I understand where you are coming from wanting to write him an email as I would want to do the same, but it's so not worth the energy.  I'm sure you will both be able to fill his GM duties with someone who truly wants to be there with both of you.  Good luck!

lipia, thanks for the kind advice. That's all I've been able to tell FI, that this guy obviously doesn't value their friendship so its not even worth it... although from this point forward he's going to be the butt of every bad joke, haha just kidding. It just boils the blood you know??

hmmmm... i think maybe you should send an email being like, "would you please reconsider attending? it'll mean so much to x" then if he's like no i need a holiday then maybe send him a rude email! ha... but really if he's as mobile as you let on, maybe he'd reconsider attending if you prodded. guys are just not as in tune with things as they should be.

it's really tough though with FI stuff, my FI's best man and brother was asked to go to dinner and drinks for the bachelor party and he's like i think i'll just do drinks. jerky huh? i don't get it...

cville, maybe most men are just socially inept! haha

Of course it does....I assume your FI is probably hurt and we don't like seeing them upset. After reading a lot of these posts I truly am very lucky (so far haha).  I have the best MOH...that girl deserves an award!  I feel for some of these girls who had MOH's, BM's and GM's back out at the last minute.  It's your day, the one you dream of since childhood and you should have people there that you know want to be there.  Perhaps when it's all said and done, your FI will put him in his place....until then, I would as you said make him the butt of all your bad jokes...haha

Oh lipia you said it. I would like to "fire" half of them and "promote" one of them, haha. I didn't give any of them "titles" because I didn't want to offend anyone with any sort of hierarchy but my "self-appointed MOH" has done less than nothing and has decided to bring her Richard Gere looking flavor of the week to annoy her ex, one of the GM! And then another has decided to go MIA until she needs ME to do something for HER! But the saving grace is the one BM who decided to single handedly plan a bachlorette and shower (when I didn't even ask for one!) even though only a couple of our friends could attend... Bless her!

LOL @Richard Gere looking flavor of the week.......