Dec 31, 2013

  • Last updated on January 15, 2013 at 2:34 pm
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  • Last updated on September 3, 2011 at 11:34 am
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JUNE 2010, CAME AND WENT WITH GREAT HEART ACHE.  Everything I had built up in my life was gone and my make believe fairy tale had fallen to the wayside. He broke my heart,  and made me believe that love was a false invention created by the lonely. Love wasn't for me. I was bitter and angry and everyone around me knew it. I wasn't the same girl that the world had fallen in love with. I went from the girl who would garentee put a smile on your face and laughter on your breathe, to the girl that would be at the bar throwing back midouri sours to numb the pain of the harsh reality. My ex fiance had shattered who I am and what I had dreamed for, for years prior.

Over the months, weeks, days, harsh talks with myself, fighting the inner demon of depression had taken place. I was putting the pain in control and letting it chose my destiny. I couldn't do that any more. After many hikes, chick flicks, nights with wine, laundrie on, candles lit and boxes of see's on the floor, I realized, I needed to come back. In my opinion, I could either hold on to the pain and the energy associated with it and wallow in my pitty, or take that energy and do something great. I chose the secound option.

Fast forward to Oct 2010. My beloved giants had won the world series,and to me, that was the turning point. Not just in the sports world, but in my life as well. The night the giants won, was the same night I met a man who flipped everything of how I felt around.  He was sweet, caring, kind.. everything my x fiance wasn't. He showed me the meaning to life and how to accept joy and love as if it was something that was ment to be flowing through your vains.

This January will mark a year that this man has been in my life romantically, and like a body needs air and water, I need him. Now, I am not the clingy type. I am as independent as they come. I make my own money, I play by my rules, I know whats right and wrong, but I do make mistakes. I am the person that the people in my life need to get by, but I never once lean on them for love, help or compassion. Like Neyo says, "She got her own". To need somebody like water is a hard concept for me, but I have come to the realization that everybody needs a rock.

So a year later, Here I am, back on PW.. no ring yet, but thats how I like it. I'm gonna marry this man, but for now, its nice to see what creative ideas you ladies all have. Its nice to be back.