Jun 25, 2011
Today, my beautiful white with blue tips parakeet, Birdie, of over 12 years passed away. And do you know the crazy thing that passed through my mind? She won't see me in my wedding dress. Isn't that the most absurd thing you've ever heard? My little Bird won't see me in my wedding dress. As if she would care or know. Call me crazy (um - YEAH) or call me sentimental (most definitely), but that little bird and I have been through thick and thin together. She used to travel transcontinentally across the US from CA to NY with me for school, she traveled home with me during christmas vacations 3 hours in the car. There are few things in life that love you unconditionally - but she loved me without question for the past 12 years. Unconditional love we hope that of our life partners, we hope that of our families - but we know that from our animals don't we? Sigh* I haven't cried this much since my grandmother passed away when I was 12, and I'm now 30.
The past year I've been focusing on wedding everything - and the little birds have witnessed the insanity that has insued but look upon me with humoring eyes - like WTF has she brought home now. I have always called myself a mother of 2 - two parakeets with two legs each. And now, today, I am the still a mother of two, just one of my children is gone. Yes, I am the crazy bird lady. I confess it. I came to work today, but boy do I look like crap.
And so now, as a take a pause from wedding craziness with my little darling gone, it makes me appreciate so much those in my life. When she passed away I made five phone calls: one to Jason, one to my mom, one to my brother, one to my dad and one to my best friend. I think it is in times of extreme happiness and in extreme sorrow that you make the calls to those most important to you.
And so, Birdie, I will love you forever - thank you for being a part of my life and sharing all this craziness with me. You will be forever in my heart and I will be thinking of you always and on my wedding day.
39 days says the project wedding countdown ticker. I've been planning a wedding (a wedding that will b fantastic but only one day) for over a year - and it's almost here!!!! I'm so excited but I'm also calm..OH YES - I'm calm!!! yeah...RIGHT!
And then, in my calm moment, I glance at the countdown ticker and.....OMG!!! When did THAT happen!? - less than 40 days!?!?
It's 10 PM at night - early by my younger days standards, and just about right when I should be winding down time by the now standards - and I am sitting here, waiting impatiently for my hair to dry and I'm having a BRIDEZILLA moment.
Bridezilla moments for me have been few and far between in this journey. One was when I was trying to think of a theme for the wedding and thought BIRDS - b/c I have two parakeets who I absolutely adore. And I ordered, from Amazon.com 20 small birdhouses that I thought would be SO cute in the centerpieces- and then I changed my mind. 20 small birdhouses in these HUGE brown boxes spread all over the living room floor, and I change my mind and have to return them all. Another bridezilla moment was when I put together 75 3x3 cupcake boxes, and they are still stacked, and empty in our office because I have, not 75 guests coming, but over 100. Hmmm....can you say - not yet prepared?! Panic #2. And what about those lovely little acne bumps that seem to pop up just when I thought my skin was clear and getting soft and creamy for the wedding pictures? Panic #3!!!! I haven't had many of these Bridezilla moments - but they seem to creep up on me when I don't expect it.
Lately when I close my eyes to rest - my thoughts just keep going as I keep trying to figure out what the HECK am I supposed to be doing right now for the wedding?! And so, as we near the home stretch, I realize - that this is LIMBO time. Limbo being - that I've done all this stuff in preparation, but then, there are things I can't actually do until I get all the RSVP, all the music selected, etc. And until i do - then hmmmm....LIMBO! Not the congo line - LIMBO line.
Dress and shoes and hair/makeup trial - check.
Flower selection & rentals - check
All my crazy DIY wedding stuff - ALMOST check.
I just paid my last payment to the photographer and for the photobooth. Check.
I need to finish paying for the music (day of?? wallet - says YES PLEASE ;))
DJ & Photographer selected - CHECK
Out of town bags - almost CHECK (who wants stale potato chips??? not me!!!)
Music list and photo list - (definitely in progress).....first dance song? hmmmm....five hundred million, gagillion songs - slow and romantic, or fun and upbeat and lively...hmmm...
And then, as if I need one more thing to do I decided to make my wedding favors - I'm making chocolates. And I'm trying to decide if that is enough - and that maybe I should be adding little truffles too, or cupcakes?! As if I need one more thing to add to the list. sigh*
Apparently I need to work on the programs & the favors & we don't have a videographer. And I need to put together a little kid friendly activity booklet with crayons.
Ok - going to take a breath.
All in all - I think the moral of the story is - for weddings - until it's time to say I do - I think that there is A LOT to do!!!! hahahaha....
I realize though, that throughout this process, I have had so many exciting and AWESOME moments - but the most surprising disappointment has come in the RSVP, the yes's and the no's. Of course the Yes's are fantastic and the no's surprisingly to me more disappointing than I thought it would be. I realize how I had hoped more close friends from other states could be there - especially since I went out of state for school and we all seem to have now dispersed and gone on with our lives, close and connected by email and facebook and occasional phone calls, but far apart in mileage. Many of my friends have newborn children, are changing jobs, are having health issues, or are going through this crazy and wonderful thing called LIFE with busy schedules, family get togethers- and ABSOLUTELY it is definitely an expense to come to another state, stay in a hotel, give a gift, rent a car- and weddings definitely take up time that could be spent doing something else. But I guess now that I'm older, that I understand some people just can't make it - and that is ok. But it doesn't take away the sting a little bit, when a fabulous friend just can't make it - even if I do understand the circumstances. I guess it makes me appreciate all the more the people who are coming to share in such a special day. But in the end, even if no one else comes, if Jason and I are there - then the marriage can happen either way! ;) lol....groom, bride, family, friends...and of course....CAKE!
39 days to go, and if I keep typing, it will be 38. So I'd better sleep. ;)
Venue: Blackhawk Country Club (Danville, CA): www.blackhawkcc.org
Venue Coordinator: Kristin Famosi (Danville, CA) www.blackhawkcc.org
Wedding Coordinator/Planner: Jacin Fitgerald; (San Francisco, CA) www.lovelylittledetails.com
(I found her on weddingbee, she just started her own company, lovely little details! Check her out - she is amazing!!!!) Follow her wedding articles at the SF Examiner
Photographer: Rick Markovich - referral only; (Castro Valley, CA & San Francisco, CA) www.lucentimages.com
Florist: Sharon Bridges (my second mommy & friend)
Stationary & Invitations: Pink Orchid Press pinkorchidpress.com (contact Stephanie - she is WONDERFUL)
DJ & Uplighting: Jason Mitchell; (Marin, CA) www.musicsolutionsdjs.com
Officiant: Reverend Charles Anker; (Carmel, CA)
Cake: Baker is Marlisa; Whole Foods Market; (San Ramon, CA)
Photobooth: 321 photobooth (Pleasant Hill, CA): check out their website: www.321photobooth.com
Ice Cream Bar: ??? Coldstone Creamery: www.coldstonecreamery.com
Engagement pictures makeup: Alysha from MAC cosmetics (Concord, CA)
Hair & Makeup: Weddings by Jessie; www.jessieweng.com
Dress: Watters & Watters (can't tell you which one yet *wink*) ; www.watters.com
Dress Alteration: Monika at Monika's California Apparel & Alterations, Pleasanton, CA (925) 462-6512
It is the weekend, HOORAY! I work tomorrow (I am so blessed to have a job in this economy, but there is a sense of feeling of boo because who doesn't like long weekends?!?!...I thought President's day was supposed to be an observed holiday? Guess our office didn't get that particular memo....hmmmm)!!!! LOL!!!
So my post today is about registering....I had the opportunity to go today to Crate and Barrel's registry event. If you have an opportunity to go - it is great. All of February they are having this event in most Crate and Barrel stores. It was from 9 AM - 11 AM and we had the opportunity, with many other happilyl engaged couples, to get that SPECIAL code zapper and ZAP away. What POWER we had! I felt like the 80s cartoon character in She-Ra...(He-man's female equivalent) Not only that but we had a mimosa, a grilled cheese sandwhich, water infused with fruit, a cup of expresso, and saw pasta being made...the morning, needless to say, was awesome (the mimosa definitely helped with that!)
It is interesting, the thought process that goes through one's head when registering. I remember buying items for other friends' weddings and I always wanted to get them something that they would use, absolutely just LOVE...hence the logical fact of them having a registry and them putting said items on the registry that they want. But from my own experience, as I held the zapper, and the little red ray went over the barcodes, and you have to enter the quantity that you want, it is easy to see how you can be enticed, entranced, and distracted by all the lovely things they have...and you forget....and the thought is - omg this would be nice, but will we need this, use this, don't we have this already but maybe it's not as nice..
You don't want to be greedy - is the common feeling I had while I was there. I understand that it is tradition, and it IS true, whenever I've been to a wedding, I ALWAYS have given a gift. It is tradition, and I know it is mostly expected. Many have asked me where we are registered. But I didn't have an answer until today. Do we really need the gorgeous white matching mixing bowls, panini maker or the kitchen aid mixer. Hmmm..no...but BOY was it PRETTY. I could see myself dressed in a little apron making panini's and then imagine myself cleaning the oil collected by it in the back and dishwashing the removable grill plates....OH BOY!!!! Wait...I don't have an apron....hmmm...should i have put that on the registry?! Wait...DON'T BE GREEDY!!! And then you hear the couple next to you saying...oh my gosh - we need at least 12 of these when we entertain. You think....are WE going to entertain? we need TWELVE?!?! I was only asking for EIGHT!!! Is that too little? Are these going to be discontinued?!? The mental cycle continues...
After all is said and done, amidst all the lovely dishes, and wonderful appliances that we registered for (and definitely would love to have people be kind enough to get for us) - in the end I realize....as Dorothy said in Wizard of Oz...I don't think there is anything in that bag for me... (the 'BAG' being the proverbial REGISTRY)...There is stuff that I would LIKE to have. BUT...in the end...all sarcasm aside...I just want to enjoy being married and starting the journey of married life. I want our friends and family to come and celebrate with us, that the day will go off without too much of any problems, that we can pay for everything as we had budgeted and that we are all healthy...
If there was one selfish thing I would want - I would just want a vacation after all of this. I want to go somewhere, and enjoy being married to a wonderful man and partner that I have in Jason. But then again, the mental cycle continues...because we ask...is a honeymoon in the budget that we originally planned...HMMMMM....wait...honeymoon registry....wait...there it is...the word registry again....and then mental picture of us on a white sandy beach or on a gondola
It is in my mind again....oh....boy...
Jason and I got engaged December 27, 2009 on the beautiful second tier of St. Paul's Cathedral in London. It feels like so long ago because so much has happened since then - winter was in full swing but remembering it really warms my heart and fills me with great happiness. Sometimes I can't believe it's real, and then I look down on my left hand, and...IT IS!!!!!! SO SPARKLY!!!!
In 2010, we purchased our first home together. Can't believe that either. We feel very blessed and it really allows us to envision our lives together moving forward. Life moving forward, hello. Bank account bye bye.
Now it is February, Valentine's day is over (meaning February is half over), we have a little more than 4 months to go and we (most days should I say I???) are in full swing of planning - and I think about the wedding DAILY!!! It is so much fun but it's amazing how wedding planning and thinking about weddings, and gushing all over other people's weddings and just seeing how creative people are, looking for decor and wedding items - how it has become a daily routine. It makes me wonder what I did before when I was surfing the internet?!??! What DID i do?!
So many ideas, and so much to look at - it really is so much fun. Jason LOVES ice cream, (I love it too, but my figure doesn't...hahaha...especially if i'm trying to stay slim for the BIG DAY! I might surprise him with something (i'll post later...but shhhhhh....)....but oh budget my budget...woah woah woah.....
Thanks for looking and joining me through the ups and downs of the wedding planning journey thus far. Here it goes!!!
Future Mrs. Choco Chip (aka: Miss Twolips; me; Jenny)