Jun 04, 2012
So 2010 was not the best of years for me. It started out with the passing of my beloved paternal grandfather of cancer. His family (he had sons from a previous marriage) were shits and long story short the funeral was not the peaceful goodbye it should have been, so there was more unnecessary pain for my grandmother, and in turn, me. My beloved was so supportive during the time, but had been planning, unbeknownst to me to pop the question. We were looking at jewerly at Kmart, yes you heard me right, KMART I found a bridal set I ireally liked. Long story short, we bout the set, and on Valentines day he got on one knee and asked me to be his bride. While I didn't get my actual engagement ring that day (we had to order it, dang it) he did pick out a wonderful piece of costume jewerly that fit the bill nicely until my real ring came in. So the summer flew by, some not so nice things happened in July and yet again he stood by my side and kept me sane. November came and with fingers crossed we hoped the levy for the agency I worked for would pass. (it's a county park district in case you REALLY want to know)It didn't, which meant come 2011 I would be unemployed.
So our New Year, usually spent a wonderful Civil War/Victorian era ball, was not spent at the ball but at home, watching Flash Gordon with his wonderful 12 year old son. (He really is a good kid and I love him to pieces). Was I sad, sure but we just didn't have the finances to go. Truth be told we probably had a better time at home.
Here is us at said ball the year before. I made the dress I am wearing. Purdy aint it?
So 2011 is here and I am now knee deep in planning a wedding and unemployed. Art is no longer working due to his health, did I mention he has an LVAD? The same heart device Dick Cheny has. He is going on year three with it now, and lets just say it has its ups and downs. Travel is an adventure and so is dealing with the hospital (which now knows him by name lol), the medications and the company that makes the device, oh and the FDA (stupid government) but again that is another story for another day.
I am not a slave to fashion, actually prefering clothing that has been out of style for more than 150 years. I don't follow designers and actually don't really care about make up, fashion or names. A name doesn't make the clothing, the person wearing it does so having one of those names on my wedding dress didn't event come to my mind.
I am also not a slave to "reality tv" in fact I HATE it. Why make a teenage mom a star? Really? Let's make them think this is ok and can make money from it. I hate HATE American Idol, half talented kids "singing" (and I use that term loosely). Jersey Shore? A waste of film and a waste of air. Yeah, don't like any of them. What do I watch? History Channel, Myth Busters and educational programming oh and NCIS..
In case you haven't noticed I am a cynic and extremely sarcastic. I hate that people are expected to spend the equilivant to a home or car on a wedding. Why? Cake that costs $8 a slice? Really? Dresses that cost more than my student loans? Why? Venues that can charge $20,000 for use of their facility? Um no!! SO yeah if you are looking for a sorority sister type ooo I am getting an (insert overpriced designer here) dress and (insert overpriced cake baker) is doing my 12 tier white chocolate and marzipan cake filled with raspberrys flown in from the jungles of HUMBUIUSHBDZIKISTAN and vanilla ganache, or my FI spent $25,000 on my 12 carat marquis cut engagment ring from (insert overpriced jewlert here) yeah you might want to skip over my bio.
I am an unemployeed outdoorsy history nut, who is getting married in my childhood park, to the man of my dreams for less than $1500.
I am still a cynic and sarcastic, but am now a happily employed bride to my wonderful husband!
I wish I could say I had the fairy tale wedding of my dreams everything went perfect wedding. Hell my bridal shower was almost a disater, thanks to my MOH who waited to the last minute to get the cake. Luckily my mom and other bridesmaids were awesome and stepped up to the plate but still. The for the wedding my MOH who was supposed to rent a hotel room for herself and myself to crash the evening before the big day ditched me the week before the wedding because she landed a new boyfriend. Being unemployed on your wedding day sucks so I didn't have the extra cash to shell out for a room. One bridesmaid lived with her mom, so that was out and the other is a newlywed herself so I didn't want to impose on their room. Le sigh. My grandma wasn't feeling well so I couldn't stay with her and well my mom and step dad were fighting so I ended up going home and staying with my hubby. Bad luck I know, but what else was I supposed to do. Two days before his exwife decides at the last minute that their son could not be in the wedding because she didn't like my hubby to be happy so we scrambled for a new best man. One month before my preacher discovered he had to have surgery so I had to find a replacement, who, ha ha, later we found out was a child molestor. I was shocked by the number of "good christian" officiants who wouldn't even have the common courtesy to return my call to tell me they either would not be willing or could not officiate my ceremony. I was extremely disappointed to say the least.
Anyway, my wedding day had some major snaffu's. The biggest being my maid of honor simply didn't want to be there!! She doesn't like my hubby and did her best to split us up. Hindsight twenty twenty I should have told her to hit the road she wasn't going to be a part of my big day but I thought well, maybe she will step up to the plate. Ha ha, she would rather have gone searching for two missing little boys then be a part of her BEST FRIENDS day. Because we were scrambling for last minute things didn't get the gazebo in the park decorated with the tulle, flowers and bows I purchased for that very purpose, forgot the marriage liscense (oops lol), and almost didn't have the ceremony because said jerk officiant didn't want to perform the ceremony. He conceeded and things went on, but not what I envisone don by big day!
Here is my father and I walking up the aisle. I really wanted my grandfather to be there, but he passed away the Feburary before the wedding so I was heartbroken. I did arrive in his Chevy Caprice Convertible, a dream of mine since childhood and could swear he was sitting next to me during the ride. I miss him so much.
Here is my hubby and I getting ready to say our vows, for richer for poorer (boy do I live up to that one) and to be honest I don't remember much of the day. He made the kilt he is wearing as well as the kilts for the nephews. Cute huh!
Here is our first smooch, looking at it I should have done something with the background, but again we forgot to decorate the stupid gazebo! Grrr....=(
Here we are with my mom and step dad. I love my mom so much, she was very supportive during the while wedding planning process and I couldn't ask for a better role model and friend. She found the perfect dress for the day and I think she looked prettier than I did =)
I loved this picture! I mean what fun to be able to play on the playground AFTER your wedding! Lol and on a purple dinosaur! RAWR!
I hate this picture of me I look like an idiot but this shows the sweetheart table my hubby decorated for the reception! Pretty isn't it =) We used vintage cake toppers for our centerpieces and the cake topper on this table was purchased by the mother of one of my bridesmaids for me!
Our cake topper was actually my grandmother and grandfather's topper when they got married and it was the inspiration for my centerpieces. That and I felt it was a piece of my grandpa there with me.
Here is my mother and I dancing during the mother daughter dance. She wasn't expecting the dance so I surprised her =)
I will have to load more pictures of the big day as my photographer took some wonderful pictures =) Including the first dance, the cake, the garter, more of the ceremony, well you know HIS job lol.
Now, however I have to gripe, I mean how can I be the cynical bride otherwise? You see I am not a wealthy woman. My family has always been poor. I never went without, don't get me wrong, but things like designer jeans, expensive vacations and other nicieties just were not a part of my childhood. My jeans and clothes came from Kmart or other box stores. I didn't have a phone in my room, hell I didn't even have a tv. We went out to eat once a week and that was it. So I grew up appreciating what I did have and not caring about whether my jeans had some over priced logo on them. That is partially why my budget for my entire wedding was $2500. That's it! $2500! And I KNOW we came in under budget. Like we spent $1500. That is the budget for most of the "featured" brides dresses. LAME! So now, my vent:
Will I be featured here or anywhere else, HELL NO because I didn't spend my entire year's salary on a day, purchase some over priced wedding dress ($99 David's Bridal thank you), spend the gross national product of Tazikistan on flowers, pay $8 a slice for some over priced 12 tier while chocolate and marzipan cake filled with raspberries flown in from the jungles of Humbuiushbdzikstan and vanilla ganache or have some insanely expensive bridal set specially designed from an overpriced jewler. What I did have was an under $1500 (including photographer, reception venue, DJ, etc) wedding filled with tears, family and fun.
I get irritated looking at these "featured" brides and feel we under $2000 brides get ignored. It's obvious from the pictures these brides spend more than $5000 or even $10,000 on their weddings. Guess what Project Wedding, The Knot, and bridal magazines there are people in this world who can not affored to spend that! People like me, who work their butts off everyday to pay their bills and squeeze in a wedding on the side, some doing it WHILE WE ARE UNEMPLOYED! Why spend insane ammounts of money for a dress you are going to wear once in your life and stuff in a closet when you are done? Becuase it has somene's name on it? REALLY?
Are ours any less special because my family catered the affair instead of a $25 per plate catered ordeal with rack of lamb chives and herbs that nine tenths of the guests have never heard of or eaten in their lives? Or, GASP I didn't use chair covers or sashes, used...dear god no, metal chairs for both the ceremony and reception and didn't spent three years of bills for swanky lighting that makes one look washed out anyway???HELL NO!!! For once I would love to see someone who saved money by purchasing their dress second hand, had their family or a friend cater the reception food and made their own cake. Feature a bride who's engagement ring didn't cost the same as my car, someone down to earth, like me lol! Or feature someone who didn't take out a second morgage to fund their wedding and let people see what can be done. It's irritating because newly engaged brides to be are brainwashed into believing I have to have or do XYZ and spend themselves into debt to get these weddings featured because it HAS to be done this way to be right. NO IT DOESN'T!!!
Does this look like a bride who is miserable because her ring is a 1/4 carat diamond, her dress was $99, she got married in a park and didn't spent $25 per plate for her reception? (BTW someone said I never stopped smiling all day. I'd believe it)
And yes those are fake flowers, that by the way I did ON MY OWN....you can lynch me now....