Sep 10, 2011

  • Last updated on December 15, 2008 at 11:32 am
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I HAVE to fix this page because do I have a story for you!  You see, I have always been a single parent of one incredible son and have never been married and now I'm 40 years old.  My son, who just turned 20, likes to kid me about how he has had more girlfriends than I have had boyfriends which is completely true.  I just decided at some point to wait on the Lord and was happy with my life as it was.  I had a good job, was a good mother, had a cute little house with some acreage, a couple of horses that I loved and a God who loved me...things were going pretty good.  But in July of 2006 I began tohave terrible pain and by Sept. was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  By Dec. I had to leave my job and suddenly my 16 yr old son was supporting us on a part-time job at Sonic while going to school.  That Nov. I worked for an online dating service for 6 weeks and that's where I saw Troy for the 1st time.  We didn't start talking really then but he emailed me the following July and we became inseparable, destined to be together forever or so it would seem.  I started planning our wedding and that's how I ended up here on this website.  But a great thing happened while we were wedding planning and we began spending more actual one on one time together...he started to show his true self more and more and we were having to work really hard to get along.  Turns out he was not the man he portrayed himself to be and 2 1/2 weeks before the wedding date, he called and broke up with me then never spoke another word to me again! He had his mother handle the whole clean up for him! WOW, that was close!!!!! 

We were getting married Mid May, as my son was to graduate high school May 22nd and would not be afraid to leave me alone to join the marines.  He would feel safe leaving me in good hands and was leaving for boot camp on June 8th.  It took everything I had in me to convince him to go ahead and go live his life.  I really had to assure him that God had gotten me this far and He was not going to let me down now!  Those words were never more true and I had no idea what was in store for me! 

It was a quite a summer for me to say the least; dealing with love loss, abandonment issues, pain illness, and empty nesting all at the same time kept my therapist VERY busy!  Despite all her efforts I ended up in the stress unit twice by the end of the year and that's where I met Mark Dungan.  Another hurting soul like myself who had turned his soon to be ex-wife in for cooking meth so that his children could be protected and safe.  He himself had been abused and recently attacked so he felt powerless himself and he still was brave enough to do anything he could to help his kids.  I have always admired that.  We remained friends and in Feb. when he was still needing a place to stay, I rented him the small cabin on my property.  He had been layed off for some time, was a recovering alcoholic/addict, and was fighting severe anxiety while fighting to even visit his children...this man needed a friend and I was just the girl for the job because I had a secret weapon - Jesus Christ, which is exactly what he wanted.  We bartered for rent (he worked for me around my house doing the physical jobs I could no longer do) and he used his small unemployment checks to pay for gas to take him to court and DHS and to visit his kids.  It all worked out fine because at the same time we were quickly becoming best friends and doing everything together, while also attending church, doing bible studies, and learning more of what it meant to have a love relationship with Jesus instead of another person (that is so important to ever have an intimate relationship in real love; you have to first learn what real love is). 

I learned so much about myself during this time too.  Mark is not my "type" at all so it was easy to remain just friends with him (though he was sure he was in love with me from the first moment; i regularly had to beat him off with a stick LOL).  God had shown me so much during that first failed engagement about my independent tendencies, my reluctance to be vulnerable, my little girl inside that I never let out as she still dared to dream...all of those things that I never really wanted to face or let Him near for healing.  A beautiful and amazing thing happened, of course right as God intended, because as I was helping Mark with his same hurts and issues, I could hardly ignore my own and we began to process things together, healing together, helping one another be stronger, feel safer, know that we are supported by one another and in all these things God was right there with us equally.  18 months as best friends taught us a lot about each other and to my surprise what it taught me the most was that I never wanted him to ever leave my side!  Suddenly I could overlook his missing teeth, his tall but thinnish physique, and his being 9 years older than me; none of that mattered one little bit.  All that mattered was that God had made him my match in every way, like two pieces of a puzzle that only fit together with the other perfect one, and the picture on the puzzle piece whatever it may be ...well that IS your "type" according to God and according to what's in your heart.  Teeth can be fixed (and he's wanted them fixed for years), muscles can be worked on if he wants to or I can get over it, and he in no way acts older than me, etc.  What does matter is that I've been asking in my heart for a man that makes me feel safe, that dances, that can sing, that has a sense of humor, that is intelligent, romantic, playful, Loves God with all his heart, etc.  Mark is this surprising man and more:

The profile picture is our feet in a mud puddle after an exhilerating mud fight after bathing our horses.  We started singing on a church worship team together and I realized that he had an amazing voice but he didn't like to get up and sing because of his teeth.  I helped him see past that and we started singing specials together only to discover that we harmonize perfectly together.  Now we love nothing more than to praise our Lord in song every opportunity we have as well as pray and minister together!  We both keep putting God first in our individual lives and in our relationship together.  He knows an incredible amount of information about an incredible amount of subjects and he is constantly surprising me with what he knows!  He hunts and fishes, builds and is just an all around good-with-his-hands guy that makes me feel like he can get the job done if something breaks which makes me feel more secure than I have ever been.  He stops on the side of the road and picks lovely flowers for me and is always doing sweet things to make me happy.  The best so far was that he really wanted me to teach him how to dance.  After only 2 hours with the Swing, Rumba, and Foxtrot, he took me around the room and I was able to just close my eyes and feel swept away!!!  My friends, I have NEVER closed my eyes like that with anyone before.  Ms. Indepent here usually has to try to lead or at least keep an eye on where we're going!  Talk about feeling safe!  I cried like a little baby it was sooo beautiful!!!Greatest thing about meant just as much to him!!!  

We are so blessed to have been brought together and to be shown such love in this lifetime.  We are praising our Lord for it everyday and anxiously waiting the big day when we begin the real dance united as one with God in the lead!    September 10, 2011   (that's 9-10-11 , isn't it great LOL)