Sep 29, 2007
We chose to forgo the champagne and toasted each other with Mai Tais!
My twin brother and his wife and their kids...
Us with my dad and the whole Decter clan including our younger, adopted sister and brothers...
Joseph and I had formals done before the ceremony and I am so glad that we did. First of all, we were able to get over any wedding nerves and we were also assured that we looked fresh (not too sweaty or wrinkled) for these photos. We were able to relax for the ceremony and visit with our guests at the cocktail hous since the formal photos had already been taken prior to the ceremony. If you're not overly traditional, I highly recommend seeing each other before the ceremony! It allowed us to connect in an intimate way...oddly enough on the wedding day, you'll find you're hardly alone with your man!
When you have divorced parents and multiple remarriages it leads to lots of family portraits!
Even though I didn't have official bridesmaids, I could never had gotten through our wedding without my girlfriends by my side!
And having our friend marry us was incredible!
Here's the video of our ceremony that my brother shot and edited; set to "Here and Now" by Luther Vandross:
I've tried to embed it but no luck! Sorry...
We wrote our own ceremony and a friend of ours was commissioned by the State of Hawaii so that she could officiate for us. For details on how to do this, please see the HawaiiFAQ's Wedding Section where I have detailed the process that we went through. We had 21 guests that were seated in a circle and each participated in the ceremony in some way. We did a Lei Exchange with each guest and a "Ring Warming" where our rings were passed around the circle for each guests to bless or warm with positive thoughts. That was the most touching part of the ceremony for us. We were really able to take a moment and see each friend and family member and soak it all in!
Blessing of the Couple
The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Hawaiian Lei Exchange
Definition of Marriage
Declaration of Intention
Exchange of Vows
Pledge of Support
Exchange of Rings
The Art of a Good Marriage by Wilferd Arlan Peterson
Seven Blessings (read by Family Members)
Presentation of the Couple
For the text and layout of our ceremony, you may email me. Here are the vows we wrote:
On this day, I promise to be your best friend and loving partner in marriage. Together, we will share all of the triumphs and challenges that life may bring. I commit to the friendship upon which our love is based, and promise that I will consciously renew this commitment daily, so that our partnership in marriage will always be strengthened. I promise to communicate with you patiently, expressing myself openly and honestly, while respecting your unique individuality and view of the world. I will not make assumptions; if I do not understand, I will ask.
In a difficult situation, I will look upon my own contribution to it rather than cast judgment upon you and will offer you acceptance, rather than criticism. When I am wrong, I will offer amends and when I have been wronged, I will offer forgiveness. I will continue to seek personal growth as an individual, so that I may always bring the best of myself to our relationship.
As your partner, I promise to encourage your dreams and goals, celebrate your accomplishments and embrace you in all of your endeavors, come what may. I will honor your trust in me and put our marriage above all outside influences. I will build a home with you that will be a peaceful and safe place that provides us comfort and is a refuge from the world. I will make time each day to laugh with you and promise to always greet you with a kiss and a smile. Things will not always be perfect or easy, but with God's help and our commitment to each other, I will love you without condition, support you without reservation, comfort you with compassion and stand by your side through all of our joys and sorrows, today, tomorrow and for all the days of my life.
Joseph waiting to see me!
And then he does...
OUR FIRST LOOK: Infront of the Kauai Coast Resort's Fountain and Koi Pond
Joseph checking out my ensemble...and me rejoicing that he was plesantly suprised
(he's known not to be able to wait for a surprise and I feared he knew what I'd be wearing!)
Getting in the dress! I HIGHLY recommend help and also wearing NUDE tone undergarments!
YAY! Dressed and ready to go! I was so excited!
My younger brother, Michael, shot all of the video...he is a film maker, so we really lucked out!
Joseph got ready in the condo directly across from ours (our friends were staying there) and
then he walked down to the Kauai Coast Resort to meet me for our "first look".