May 22, 2010
Well, I think we kept the wedding under $3000 and everyone said it was beautiful, and it went really smooth. What a nice surprise! It turns out that my interim pastor was quitting before my wedding but didn't bother to tell me until April a month before my wedding. So we met with a suggested pastor and he was a total butthead! He wanted everything by the book, and didn't really care about my input!!!! I said "WHy does there have to be a reading?" I was INSINuating that I didn't want a reading. He said in a smartass manner, "Because it's a religious ceremony. It's not a proper Christian wedding without it." Proper Christian wedding? I am not all that religious! I didn't want a reading, no hymns, no sermon, I wanted a short ceremony so as to not BORE my guests. So we found another Pastor, a Reverend who is our same age, has an iPhone of all things and is so modern. HE's another denomination. So the day after the wedding we meet him to pay him. We give him $100, which is what we think is standard. He says........"UH...................I kinda need another $100. I'm sorry. The church president should have told you." So we're looking at him like "we don't have any more money. WTF?" We already paid the church $200 which I was told was for the "air conditioning" of the church and rental of the church for ceremony and reception. As long as we cleaned up after ourselves. But it turns out this reverend said that we paid the church $200 and in turn they were supposed to pay the Reverend. Our former pastor, who is brother to the Bishop of this area, (Lutheran), said a pastor should only ask $50 to $100, insinuating that a pastor should NOT be greedy!!! Well, it made it seem like this guy was GREEDY. My new husband was pissed and didn't want to pay. It's still up in the air. I still can't believe the best man (smart ass eccentric) asked the Reverend if he had the Bible app on his iPHone. Eric, shut up!!! I had to threaten him.
My bridesmaids clashed with the groomsmen at first because they are all strong assertive women. LOL. But eventually they were crackin jokes!! The Reverend was funny though because when he was telling us how to do the unity candle, he said the most important part was to not set each other on fire. That we were to use our outside hands to grasp the outside candles and light the center candle. And then hold the long tapered candle still in our outside hand, hold it to the side and away from each other and don't blow it out on each other!!! I'll tell more later!!
My shoes!!! My groom is short, so I'm doing him a favor with these flat sandals!! These comfy Nina's were half off at Dillards and they have major bling!!!
Ok, finally picked out a gown. It was fun having the fitting expert help you put your dress choices on. I wanted a halter one but it cost about $100 more. So my mom and I compromised on this one. Mom is going to make the sash and it's not going to be ruched or layered in the front like the one that comes with the dress--it's going to lie flat. So this one was under $300. Mom wanted one that was under $99 but all the David's Bridal $99 gowns were gone, the sale was over. I am 5'9'' so the dress fit me perfectly and there are no alterations. What is really weird is that the other girl that was trying on dresses at the same time as me, was at the dallas Bridal Expo. Isn't that crazy? Not really, huh, small world. My mother wants to make the petticoat. She's insane!!! Oh well. Maybe she'll realize that you can't possibly sew chair covers, alterations on bridesmaid dresses, sashes, (baby blankets for my friends) all in just a few months. We bought the strapless bra at Dillards. So much for not going into debt, Mom put it on her card. I think it would have been cheaper at David's Bridal, but maybe not as good quality. The bra-fitting lady is hilarious--she touched under my bra and around my bra straps and said "No, this is not your correct bra size, it's such-and-such." She's a tiny old lady with an accent and she instructs, "D'jyou know how to put thees on? You know you scoop your boobie like this (she motions), and put it up in the bra--ok?"
Since I bought my tiara and bracelet at the bridal show, I don't know if their website has pictures of it. They are handmade by a mom-and-pop company. Let's see.....it's called Just For You Custom Creations---jfycreations.com and they are really sweet people! I think this is what it looks like. It has pearls and Swarovski crystals. My fiance bought it for me---is that bad luck??? It was on sale, but we splurged on it a little bit. The bracelet is pearls and rhinestones also, and it was $12.
- What we have learned:
- bridal salon fitters will help you stay in your budget, and will even suggest other stores for cheaper alternatives to purchase your petticoat, headpiece/veil, and bra---they are nice and they want to make you happy!!
- if you go to a bridal show, and they call you the next day with a vacation you have won---be sure to check the company out online---I discovered a scam that has victimized many other couples!
- you can wear flats to your wedding, no one will see your feet under a full-length dress!
- rock back and forth in your dress when you try it on, if you almost fall off the pedestal........the DRESS is too HEAVY!!! and it will be cumbersome on your wedding day
- Even though it would be nice to have a $6000 wedding dress, it is not realistic and you can't blow 3/5 of your wedding budget on a dress! Unless you have the reception at McDonalds!!
- "Up to $300 off" does NOT mean a $399 dress will be bumped down to $99. It means that a $1000 dollar dress will be bumped down to $700. The sale is by percent, make sure you ask about the details
Ok, so I had some greeting card stock that Robert's mom left us. So I remembered my friend Sarah had made her Save-the-dates herself with stamps and ink. I went and borrowed her stamps and stamped "Save this date" in curly-cue lettering at the top of each 4x6 card. I did some in black and some in purple, just experimenting around. Some didn't stamp all the way, but I thought it looked good, like some faded old-fashioned card. The cards themselves had little bitty flowers, you can't really tell, in the corners and scalloped. Then I PAINStakingly put each 4x6 card through the printer, printing our names and the wedding date. I used a cute font that totally reflects my fun, whimsical attitude: it's called bernhardt modern, I believe. Super awesome!! Then on the reverse of the card I put my return address and each address of to whom I was mailing it. This was a pain in the rear. When I started over, the printer was not still set in the 4x6 mode---so I messed up a few cards because it printed as if it were a letter-sized paper!!! Very frustrating!!! Some of them I just camouflaged with stamps :0. I could NOT make the card-making factory program print the cards as 4x6s even though that's what the program is FOR! It was really maddening, so then I went into Powerpoint and fudged around until I could fit everthing in the right way on the card. Even though there were envelopes the same size, it would not print correctly on them. I used one envelope to send my aunt a picture and it was about 3 mm off the mark, but that meant it was about 3 letters off and the envelope looked retarded!!! It was frustrating looking up all the addresses for family, and I had to keep asking my mom, "Which of Aunt so-and-so's kids do we not like?" Because one is racist and since my fiance is Hawaiian, I was not going to invite that cousin!!! I was also careful to disinclude any other potentially racist or redneck family that might have a cow!! about my fiance being Hawaiian.
Stamps!!! I have already purchased two books of the new Love stamps 44 cents. They look like the king and queen of hearts from playing cards. But for the save-the-dates, I asked the post office if it would be alright to send them as postcards and they said yes. So I bought some 28-cent stamps. They were polar bears. What do polar bears have to do with a spring wedding? i do not friggin' know, but they only have one option for the 28-cent stamp per year. Last year, apparently, it was tropical fruit. That would have been more fitting. But I was definitely going with saving money. To everyone I possibly could, I emailed a scanned version of my save-the-date card, and included a picture of us. Also, I put one on Facebook. AWWW!!! That got lots of "congrats" from people I haven't seen in years. OH!!! And really cute and sentimental----there are wedding ring stamps--44cent ones. So that will be cute to use on the invites also, all the darned stamps don't have to match. Who cares!!????
More Addressing Drama
My fiance took forever and a day to finally give me a list of addresses to send save the dates to. But he left some of the addresses off, and just had their names. So I had to bug him to get THOSe addresses. I was going to save stamps and just give some cards to his family on the 4th of July, but I chickened out. Ha ha. One of his coworkers, let's call her Donna (who is in her 50s?), has a live-in boyfriend, and she never intends to marry ever again, so their last names were different. So I had to think what was the proper way to address the card. And, not thinking, I put exactly what Robert had put without thinking. So I put "Donna & Eric" and then before mailing it, I realized there was no last names. So now what? I asked my fiance what their last names were again, and he said that "Donna" likes her mail addressed that way. So ok, I thought that the mail would never get there with just first names, but I guess it will work. LOL. Another address he gave me, was the wrong last name, he had just stuck a totally different last name on there, I guess he was thinking about something else. So he was like "OH nO! You can't send it out like that, they'll think I'm a totaly idiot!" So because I am tired of loading these save-the-dates into the printer and printing them one by one, I said "YOU fix it!!" This makes me all the more excited to print my invitations out on the computer. Yay (sarcastic).
Since I have wrongly assumed many things in planning my wedding, which includes thinking that many things were free, and that people were happy to help, this encounter surprised me. Unlike Dallas Morning News, who charges God-knows-what for an engagement announcement and probably charges per letter and 2x for a vowel (LOL), I wrote a short announcement to put in the Rains County Leader, which is my hometown-area paper. So anywho, I drove up there wondering how much it would cost, they always charge per word, not per letter, what about the photo, etc. Then surprise of surprises she said it was FREE!!! Duh, I'm from a small town, I should have known it was free. They need help actually filling up the news-less, quiet small town newspaper. So I gave the info and instead of parting with one of my coveted photos, she said I could email her one and that they could resize it, and it would be in the coming week's paper. So like Monday night (paper comes out on WEdnesday) I get an email that the photo was not big enough, so I had to get the photo CD out and attach a bigger one to the email. Which I did not get done until Tuesday when final submissions are. So anyways, it has been pushed back until this weeks paper. I felt stupid because I didn't really have a job I was proud of to put in the paper, and I forgot the name of my fiance's high school. But you can't dictate when your announcement will come out in the paper if you are receiving it for free. Beggars can't be choosers!
I am terrified that someone I know will read this and tattle on me!! Um, I've begun attending church again so that I can get on their good side and "renew" my membership in order to have the wedding at the church for free. I've reserved my date and they're supposed to mail me a "packet" but they haven't yet. ARG. Anywho, I've talked to the interim pastor and he's pretty cool, very non-judgemental, and has a dry wit. I really hate the fake pastors that try to crack jokes and fake being happy all the time. But despite that I like the pastor, church is inevitably BORING. I find myself reverting back to when I was 10 years old and was made to go to church and I hated every last second of it. I fidget, I roll my eyes at the sermon, I give my mom dirty looks. And I laugh out loud when that one guy picks his wedgie in church. OMG!!! That is NASTY!!! LOL>
I've set my budget at $10,000. I really don't know where most of it will come from. If my sweetie sells a property we'll have plenty of money for the wedding, but we'd rather save it for a down payment on a house. Mom and Dad, not so much either. We can buy like a few things per month, but the upside is that we have a whole year to do it. Anything over $100 at a time freaks out my mom! ARG! We have a disagreement about the dress. She believes it should come from David's Bridal at the $99 sale. I can't find one I really like there, and in some pictures the fabric just looks "cheap". I think I'd be willing to spend up to $300, but that would make Mom pass out!!! LOL. Also the situation is that I'm not bringing in money, and I'm forced to pay rent elsewhere (long story) which eats all my money. I want to go back to school in fall because even with a degree, I can't get a great job. So that's another thing; school will be competing time and money with my wedding. And if we can't get a timeshare booked for when we'd like our honeymoon to be, I either have to miss school or postpone my honeymoon infinitely! In a way I'm determined to make this work despite lack of funds and I don't want to accrue bad credit by putting everything on credit cards. I've heard of a bride who divorced before she had even paid off her credit cards she charged the wedding on!!! That's not cool! I have entered a million contests for wedding stuff and so far, nothing! Any little thing would be a total help!! I'm even looking on craigs list to see if there is a decent dress that's not torn, dirty, or wrinkled beyond recognition! How am I going to pull this off? And besides having a timeshare, are we supposed to include the honeymoon as part of the wedding budget? And should that be limited to $2000? How am I going to pull all of this off? My aunt Jen is buying some pew bows, however she originally wanted to make the satin rose rice-throwers for party favors. She is so awesome!!! I love you, Aunt Jen!!
So we're still kinda torn between flowers as the centerpiece. Also make our own boutineers and bridesmaid bouquets, etc. Another idea is a glass full of sand with seashells. I said, "Mom I want purple in my wedding. Seashells aren't purple."
She said, "So what about purple seashells, and that can be a party favor also?" I said "What about purple sand?" Which I had seen at Michaels. She made a face. What are we gonna put the flowers in?
I also like an idea I saw where they took little chinese takeout boxes and put a ribbon or paper vertically around the box and just put candy inside and maybe a tag or a sticker. Mom said that the boxes would have to go on sale. It was like 10 boxes for $7. What?? Then she said we should go to a Chinese restaurant and just ask for them. But then I thought.......they don't have the metal wire handle on them!!! ARG.
I like the wedding websites that have a wedding budget calculator. But one of them has my "proposed spending" at almost $4000 on FOOD, and only $150 on hotel room. What the heck? ARe they nuts?? So mom is gonna get a lady co-worker that does really creative food and stuff, and she also does flowers. But I'm planning my own wedding bouquet anyways. WE argue!!!! I want purple/lavender/lilac somewhere in my bouquet. I don't like hydrangeas, they are pretty, but they look ragged. I guess I want a flower with a smooth defined shape. Where do I get these ideas? I would also incorporate pink and white, and I might use the purple hydrangeas as filler, but not the main flower. Why don't they have fake purple roses with "dew" on them like the pink and red ones? LOL. Another good idea from Michaels or Joanns, is to glue jewels on the gerbera daisy's face, and get an elegant bouquet holder. You can also put bows up the handle and glue pearls/jewels on the knot of the bow. I also want some really exotic flowers but I can't think what.