Jul 10, 2010
We had dinner with our parents (both sets) this weekend, the first time we have all been together since we got engaged.
I spent some time beforehand helping my mom prepare food and chilling with her and my best friend (who passed on dinner but came up to hang out). Naturally the wedding came up, and my mom actually wanted to talk about some ideas for it, which was great! Maybe she just took longer to get used to the idea than I did? She was a bit taken aback by wanting to have the whole thing outside at first, but quickly warmed up to it. She even had a venue suggestion, which I am going to look at later this week when I'm up there again. (If I like it, I will take my fiance to see it- and then if he likes it too, we both pray it's inside our budget! :P )
She also brought up the idea of a backyard wedding, which I'm not totally opposed to, if she can convince me: a) that she can make the backyard look as nice as she claims, with a photogenic fence that shields us from neighbors, and b) that 75-100 can actually be accomodated in the house and yard. I kind of think B will be harder than A. It would certainly be less expensive and give us more money to spend on other things, not to mention a hell of lot more flexibility on how we want to do things, and my parents do have a big lovely yard.
My father wanted to have it around Thanksgiving, which I couldn't say "no" to fast enough. My birthday is right after Christmas- I have had to share it with the biggest holiday season in America my entire life, so I have some experience with holiday sharing, and it sucks. We are NOT sharing our wedding, and we're not setting up our anniversary to be shared every couple of years. Plus, it kills any chance of an outdoor wedding in Indiana's climate. My fiance was in total agreement that this was a Bad Idea. (I think my dad was trying to capitalize on the "everyone travels at Thanksgiving anyway", and his sister had hers at Thanksgiving. My aunt and I...well, her wedding made it clear we have completely different ideas about weddings, we'll just leave it at that. No drama or anything, just a realization.)
With Thanksgiving shot down, my mom expressed the sentiment that it would be nice to not have to drag my sister home from college right after she left, so that might push the wedding to late July 2010. I think the weather will be nicer in late August or early September, I know my sister will be happy whatever we do, and I'm not completely opposed to a July wedding, so I didn't say anything about it. Why start a conflict over something that will likely turn out to be a non-issue?
They were also a little taken aback that I'm not planning on having it on a Saturday, but they liked my reasoning- there is nothing inherently special about Saturdays, and we're more likely to get the vendors we want (maybe even at a discount) if we go with almost any other day. We do want an evening wedding, so that we can have lanterns, sparklers, starlight, and maybe even fireworks.
Then my fiance arrived with his parents (he spent the day catching up with some friends), and things went really well. There was champagne (which I feel the need to point out because it's my all-time favorite alcoholic bevarage, and I really love an excuse to drink it), and good food, and good conversation. Our parents get along really well- they were actually talking about getting together sometime on their own, without us! I can't imagine anything nicer than if our parents ended up being friends on their own.
I got engaged in April 2009, and we don't plan to be married for another year and a half, so right now I'm still in the fun stage of wedding planning where ANYTHING is possible and realities like time, money, and family drama have yet to set in!
My fiance and I met during our freshman year of high school, though we did not start dating until our fourth year of college. We broke up for a year while I went to pursue grad school halfway across the country, but I was miserable, the program/intradepartmental warfare were horrible, and I ended up moving back to Indiana. We promptly got back together. Now, my fiance is the grad student (at the same school where we were undergrads), and I am working while studying for certification to teach high school math and science. The job market for teachers is pretty bad right now (stupid economy), so I'm considering taking the plunge back into grad school, this time in education. I think with the close support of people who love me along with a new school that doesn't have the same issues, it will be a much better experience.
(As for what I do- I studied astrophysics, math, and geology in school, and while I fell out of love with research I still love the subject. Right now I do lab work in electromagnetics for an aerospace engineering company. My fiance is studying finance, and he likes it so much, he can make it interesting even to someone clueless like me!)
We're very fortunate to both have families who are wonderful and so pleased with our engagement, and since we have the same hometown, it's going to be easy to involve everyone. We don't have children, and we are the oldest in our families so we don't have nieces or nephews either. (This is kind of relieving to me- my experience as a flower girl at my uncle's wedding was traumatizing, so flower girls don't bring out good feelings in me- I would never want to put another little girl through that!)