Dec 27, 2012
So how we met...I mean there is the basic story...I guess I could tell you that. Once we get into the details though Kyle and I have to agree to disagree ;) he swears I was wearing green shorts, but I know I didn't even own green shorts at the time. We met at a college bible study called CNX (run by HCBC.) The first week he vaguely registered on my mind but I had just gotten out of a relationship after finding out about his other "relations" so I really wasn't interested in looking for anyone. The next week I had a really bad headache when I came, he noticed that I wasn't feeling well and that no one was really talking to me so when I got up to leave he followed me out and asked if I had a facebook. He added me that night and we messaged back and forth until CNX the next week. Wednesday after bible study a bunch of us went out to IHOP somehow we ended up sitting near eachother, he made me a paper heart from part of the menu and the rest....well the rest is history. Haha well not quite the next night we had CNX again and we both showed up, after small groups in which I'd revealed some of the hard details of my past he followed me outside and we stood in the street talking. Being him (slightly a mister goody two shoes) I wasn't expecting anything as I didn't think he could handle my past and all the scars it had left. But that night out in the street he chose to stand by me to care for me and not leave me...that's when I decided I liked him, and I guess he liked me too because later that night I got the sweetest most romantic I like you message in the history of the world. Now I could say thats when everything fell into place but it wasn't until a few nights later that the real story began...I had given him my number after he sent me his I like you message and we texted back and forth. One night (about 4 days later) I text him that I'm feeling really low and slightly depressed. So what does he do? Shows up at my front door at 11 at night to bring me icecream and offer his company. We talk and talk until 3 in the morning and I lay out everything on the line. The abuse, the sex, the brokenness that had been my life, and I give him the choice to walk away now. He sat for awhile thinking and then he tells me "you aren't what I had imagined, that virginal fairytale princess. but I won't abandon you. I won't walk away just because you have a past. I was fighting with God about this about staying because my selfish desires want to run. But God hasn't left you and its about time that I let go of my plans and let Him write the story. And I have a feeling this is going to be the best fairytale ever written and you will be the most beautiful princess" and that is when him and I became an us. And we became inseperable....
Then came the proposal 4 months later....
So I knew he had the ring, I'd gone with him to try rings on...I knew he took my Dad out to talk to him because I'd suggested the restaurant....and still I waited....and waited some more.
But then he asked me out on a date, he said I could dress up. We hadn't gone on a dressed up date in awhile. So I had a lot of fun getting ready. And I show up and he's speechless ;) We went out to Chili's (which apparently was not his first choice but due to time constraints he had to pick what was close.) And then at dinner he asked if I would go on a walk with him later. Now walking under the stars happens to be a favorite past time of mine, so of course I was all over that. So we get in the car and he hands me my black boots (I say this because my dress was black and he knows me better than to give me my brown boots when I'm wearing black) and we drive off. Then we show up at the place we ended our first date, a private park/lake way back in this neighborhood. Now of course I'm excited because I had suggested just a few days before that we should go back there sometime because it was so beautiful...and here we are. But there is another car in the parking lot so I'm looking for these other people....now we walk hand in hand over the hill and what do I see? A bunch of paper bags lit up with candles inside lining the walk way all the way down to the dock, and then candles all over the dock. Its breathtaking....but I'm really worried we are intruding on someone else's private moment. Somehow Kyle convinced me we should just go check it out. So we walk out onto this dock and he starts a conversation with me about where we've been and where we are going....then I see a sign and I'm like let me go look at that. It says Kyle & Jessica, my whole heart for my whole life. And that is the moment it all became real, this was all for me. My love had set this up for me. And it was beautiful. So we sit down and we start talking and then he slips off the bench onto one knee....and he asked me to be his bride. And life will never ever be the same! But it will be different in the most glorious way, because I said yes.
Christmas Christmas Christmas! Gingerbread houses, stockings, mistletoe, holly, pinecones, garlands, and wreaths this is the stuff my wedding will be made of. I'm thinking ball ornaments signed in sharpie and hung on a set up Christmas tree for a guest book....Mr. and Mrs. stockings hung on the giant stone fireplace with a small table full of notecards and pens for advice you can stuff our stocking with. Christmas cards strung on twine across the front of the banquet tables, and a gingerbread house front and center on the cake table with cupcakes and christmas cookies. I'm thinking fur muffs for the bridesmaids instead of bouquets and possibly a fur stole for the bride :) red vests under charcoal suits for the guys with maybe candy cane striped ties. Maybe even tacky Christmas sweaters for us to leave the reception in.....oh the possibilities! Going to visit the venue with the mothers in June and to pick out my dress with all of them finally together! AHHHHHHhhhhh suddenly everything starts to become more real. Now if only i could get it to lightly dust snow on our wedding day.....now that would be a Texas wedding miracle ;)
So I just turned 20 this week. And I've been engaged for 2 and a half months with 233 days to go. So I catch a lot of flack about waiting, and being too young. Which I kind of knew would happen, but somehow no one prepared me for how hard it was going to be to not let that get me down. I love my fiance. I'm not worried about the marriage. With all the ups and downs and everything in between I know we'll make it. We're honestly too stubborn not to ;) What I am worried about is pulling off a wedding. Especially when half the time people are jumping on every little thing we say wondering if its a doubt or trying to get us to call it off. I want to share my happiness and my dream. I want advice on how to make it work on how to be a wife. But young or not all you can do is prepare yourself as best you can and jump into it with both feet. I gave my whole heart when I said yes...and my heart only continues to grow with love for him. There is no walking away. no turning back. There is only forward. As a bride, as a best friend, and as a wife.
So in parting if you have any wisdom, advice, or ideas about planning a Christmas wedding let me know :) I would love to hear it. But please keep the negativity away, I have plenty of that already I don't need extra :)