SoulMates Ceremonies

Civil Union, Interfaith Ceremony, Non-religious Ceremony, Single Religion Ceremony

Agnostic, Baha'i Faith, Buddhist, Christian (no denomination), Christian - Anglican, Christian - Baptist, Christian - Catholic, Christian - Episcopalian, Christian - Lutheran, Christian - Methodist, Christian - Mormon, Christian - Orthodox, Christian - Presbyterian, Christian - Quaker, Evangelical, Hindu, Islam, Jainism, Jewish, Muslim, Shinto, Sikhism, Taoist

No

yes

yes

yes

no, but I do offer resources to choose from if desired

no

yes-included with some packages; available as an add-on with others

What "religion" are you?I am an interfaith/non-denominational minister, as are all of my associate (back-up) ministers. What this means is that I have studied all of the major world religions (and many of the minor ones), and am able to perform ceremonies for people of all faiths. My personal beliefs are that God is the spirit and light and energy that is in all of us, and we are all just little pieces of God, so to speak. Over time, I have come to the belief that no one "religion" is right, and that God doesn't mean for us to get caught up in the rules---just to love each other (and ourselves) to the best of our ability. I don't believe that God is a respector of inidividual persons or religions, but that he loves none of his children more than any others. I believe there is truth and beauty in all faiths, and in all of us. I also believe there are inherent flaws in all faiths, especially the parts that are exclusionary of others' beliefs and rights.For more information, please click here to visit our sister sites for:Spirit Universal Interfaith Fellowship (or)Pathways of UnityAll of that having been said, your ceremony will be performed according to the traditions and language of your faith (or lack thereof), and I will never try to push my own ideas onto anyone! Your beliefs are the ones that matter in your life, and in your ceremony. I also don't believe that one must practice any specific faith or attend services in order to be a spiritual being. This philosophy holds true in all I do as a celebrant---including weddings, commitment ceremonies, baptisms/babynamings/dedications, and all celebrations of life and love.What makes our marriage legal?Any ordained minister of a legally recognized church may marry you, and I (Rev. Kita) am actually ordained by several legally recognized non-denominational and interfaith churches, including my own. In fact, I am even registered to perform ceremonies on New York City, which has the most stringent ordinances of any place in the USA regarding who is eligible to legally officiate weddings. It is the obtaining and subsequent filing of the license that makes a marriage legal. Your marriage license is obtained by you, then signed and filed with the court or municipality by your officiant.What is your fee?It is important to me to keep SoulMates' services affordable. We've all heard the saying: "you get what you pay for", and for the most part, that is true. However, I feel our fees are adequate to provide excellent service, yet affordable enough that I don't feel my service is putting any extra undue financial stress on a couple starting out their new life together. Many couples see the officiant as just someone who "shows up for 1/2 hour" and helps them say their "I dos". What they don't see is the preparatory work that goes along with what we do---There is a LOT more time than just the actual length of the ceremony that is spent talking and corresponding with our couples, creating and helping them to create their ceremonies, planning different aspects of the ceremony with them such as the recessional, processional, rehearsal, etc., as well as the administrative work and expenses that go along with ensuring a couple's happiness with the most important aspect of the most important day of their lives. Of course, different couples have different needs. For this reason, our pricing is not "one size fits all". I would not charge the same amount for a couple whose ceremony and planning takes up 10 hours of my time as a couple whose ceremony and planning takes 50 hours. In your search for an officiant, you may find some people or services that charge less.... You will also find many fine officiants charging a lot more for their services. (If you don't believe me, bookmark my site to come back to when you find out the truth.) :-)We offer packages with varying levels of service to fit almost any budget.Please click here for more detailed information about packages and pricing.Why is your fee higher than another wedding officiant I talked to? (or: Why is your fee lower than another wedding officiant I talked to?)We truly mean no offense, but to us, that's a little like asking why a hamburger from the drive-thru costs more than five course meal at a fine dining establishment. While lots of people love those burgers, almost everyone understands that for higher-quality product/atmosphere/service, there is a higher cost. Weddings are expensive, and take a lot of time to plan. If you want an end result that is worth all the time, effort, and expense, you need to trust in the professionalism of all of your vendors. My guess is, you wouldn't hire just anybody to be your caterer, just because they say they know how to cook. Certain things should be left to true professionals---and what could be more important than your ceremony?Regardless of where you look for an officiant, be sure to check what you're really being offered: Is there a contract? Do they have back-up if something unforeseen happens? Do you get to choose your own wording, do they create something especially for you, or are you getting the same exact ceremony a thousand couples before you have had? How many weddings have they done? (most times it is brand new officiants or part-timers---usually both---who offer very cheap fees) Do they arrive early, or show up 5 minutes before the ceremony? Will they stay if your ceremony starts late for some reason? Do they allow enough time between bookings on the same day, with allowances for traffic/bad directions/late starts, etc? Do they offer YOU the option as to whether or not you use their services for a rehearsal, and adjust their fees accordingly? Do they offer help with the planning aspects of the ceremony? Do they have a clear and pleasant speaking voice, and a warm personality? Do they just read the words in a wooden, sterile way, or do they put some emotion and feeling into the delivery of your ceremony? Can they provide references from other couples and/or vendors? Do they offer you resource and reference material to help you in planning your day? Can they provide a microphone and/or public address system for the officiant/couple if needed? Are they flexible and open-minded about your traditions, your faith (or lack thereof), etc.? Are they easily accessible by phone when you have a question, or are they hard to reach because their "real job" gets in the way? If these things are important to you, then, while price is always a consideration, it shouldn't be the main one.... After all, without the officiant, you're just throwing a big party...and wouldn't you rather have your guests remember your touching and beautiful ceremony, as opposed to the mini-quiches and pigs-in-a-blanket? ;-)Will we meet you in person?Actually, that's another option I give my couples. Some choose to meet with me in person, and others choose to do everything via telephone and email. Some are more comfortable meeting, and others, for reasons of distance and convenience, choose to handle everything via phone and internet. All meetings are handled personally by me (Reverend Kita).How do we work together to create our ceremony?Again, it depends on your personalities, and the level of involvement you wish to have in the process. It always starts with a comprehensive questionnaire, designed to give me an idea of your desires for your ceremony, your personalities, and the particulars of the wedding. I learn about your relationship, how you met, what made you fall in love, etc. Between that questionnaire and an initial phone conversation or meeting, I get a sense of who you are, as individuals and as a couple. From there, one of two things can happen: One, I can custom-create a ceremony based on your answers and our conversations. This is a very personal option, and you can alway make changes to the ceremony when I submit it you for approval. Some couples find this is a lot less intimidating, yet still allows for a very unique and meaningful ceremony. Others have a little more time, and want a little more control over their "first-draft". For those couples, after gathering a sense of them, I will send or show them several sample ceremonies, from which they can pick parts of each, to "mix & match" their way to their dream ceremony. Your input can be as much or as little as you desire. Either way, we keep working on it until it's exactly what you want.Do you provide references?Absolutely. Once a couple contacts us, if they are serious about using our services, references will be provided. I don't provide them unless a couple is serious, because I don't want my past couples to be inundated with calls unnecessarily.Can we write our own vows?Absolutely. There are even some links on this site that you can use for inspiration.We want a non-religious wedding---do you do that?It is YOUR ceremony, and we will do it YOUR way. Any officiant who insists on their own way of doing your ceremony is doing a disservice to the institution (and the very meaning) of marriage. Our relationships with each other, ourselves, and Our Higher Power (if we believe in one) are very personal, and to deny anyone that kind of freedom is something in which we have no interest.How do we reserve our date with SoulMates?To reserve your date, please call us at 302-836-4450, or toll-free at 1(866)404-3774. We do require a retainer to hold the date, usually in the amount of $100-$200, depending on the package you choose. You may fill out an inquiry form on the "contact us" page of the this site to find out about availability, but you must actually call and put down your retainer to reserve the date.What about same-sex commitment ceremonies/holy unions/NJ Civil Unions?We don't have a separate section for commitment ceremonies, simply because we treat these unions exactly as any other marriage. I strongly believe that God didn't make up all the religious "rules," people did. In the case of gay or lesbian commitment ceremonies, I believe the same thing as for my more "traditional" couples: it is YOUR ceremony, YOUR day, and I will do it YOUR way! Hopefully, one day soon, our government will treat all unions of love with equal respect. Until then, that is my pledge to you. I realize that some of the wording may be different in a same-sex ceremony, but otherwise----love is love is love is love!Who will be our officiant?Actually, I (Rev. Kita) have recently decided that in order to preserve the quality of SoulMates' services by developing and maintaining close relationships with all SoulMates couples, I will henceforth be the one performing all ceremonies personally. This means that we will be working closely together, start to finish!Sadly, I have heard from many couples whose officiant cancelled at the last minute, not providing them with any alternatives, and leaving them to fend for themselves. (A word to the wise: Certain types of officiants are famous for this---I won't get specific, but I will say that any time you are dealing with someone for whom officiating weddings is not a primary (or sole) livelihood, you may be asking for trouble.)I take my commitment to officiate your wedding very seriously, and have never missed a wedding. Of course, it is always possible for unexpected things happen in life. With SoulMates, there are several levels of back-up in place to prevent such a problem. In the highly unlikely event that an emergency would prevent me from officiating your wedding, SoulMates maintains an extensive network of associate officiants who are available to be called on if needed. I also maintain memberships in several professional associations, and have extensive contacts among a long list of top area wedding professionals.Will you stay for the reception/rehearsal dinner?When a couple has their own pastor or spiritual leader as their wedding officiant, and/or a prior personal relationship exists, then it is proper to invite the clergy and his/her spouse to the reception and/or rehearsal dinner. However, when a couple is hiring a professional wedding officiant to perform their ceremony, and does not have a prior personal relationship, no such social obligation applies. There should be no reason for you to feel you have to spend money on another plate, when you have hired a professional to perform a service for you.That having been said---I often do develop close relationships with my couples, as I work with you on the most personal aspect of your day. If you would like to extend an invitation, I appreciate the gesture, and in some instances, may accept the invitation. Usually, however, I do not stay for the meal, either because I have another ceremony to do, or because as a professional wedding officiant AND mother of a small child, weekend time with my family is scarce as it is.If, on the other hand, for some reason, you REQUIRE my attendance at the rehearsal dinner and/or reception, please understand that this will be at an additional charge, as it prevents me from accepting another wedding, and/or spending time with my family on that evening. (not that I don't love your company!) :-)What will you wear for our ceremony?For the more formal/official look, I wear celebrant's vestments/robes. These differ from ministerial vestments in that there is no religious insignia (symbols) on the robes . I offer a few color combinations in these, but the most popular is the off-white vestments with a subtle gold trim. I also have black, red, and ecru, most with interchangeable trim that can be white, gold, silver, red, or black. For those who are having a very informal wedding, or who wish to avoid any small similarities to a religious ceremony, a dark suit can be worn. I am also happy to accommodate special requests for theme weddings.What about baptisms/dedications/baby blessings/baby namings/christenings?I absolutely love baby ceremonies! We offer special pricing for these ceremonies, and whether your beliefs require a baptism, dedication, naming, or blessing, we are happy to help make it something very special! Please call or email for more information!