Budget Savvy Bride: Caitlin & Rob Get the Wedding WE Want

Rob finally proposed to me after 6 years together.  We'd been through hell and back (he, an Iraq veteran with a Purple Heart, me, a college student who studied in Russia) together but had never questioned the love and devotion we held for one another.  When he popped the question I knew that we had to have a unique wedding that brought together the various elements of both our personalities.  We will finally be getting married on July 10, 2010!

We never considered having a wedding that would cost more than $5000.  Both of us have always agreed that while a wedding is special, it IS only one day, and we wanted to make sure we were prepared for our future together.  So we set aside some money and got to work.

1. Our first task was to find a venue.  We knew it had to be outside, as we are both Mainers and love the natural beauty of our state.  We looked into Acadia National Park, a field near our home, and various other locations with minimal luck (or minimal enthusiasm anyway). Finally we settled on a family residence in Eastern Maine, the home of my paternal grandparents.  The house had been built in the 1970s for my grandparents by my father, his siblings, and a professional carpenter.  I had spent every Fourth of July, Easter, Christmas, and Thanksgiving in that house since I was a child.  It is built on seven beautiful acres, on a rocky outcropping, and overlooking the ocean (and Canada!)

[I would insert a picture here, but my family is extremely sensitive about internet privacy.  Suffice it to say, it's beautiful.]

This location had everything we wanted - meaning, gorgeous view, and plenty of space.  And, of course, it was free of charge!

2. I'd say the next 'expensive' item we had to look at was food.  The area in which we will be getting married has minimal party/catering services so we knew this would be either from a local restaurant or family-based. 

One day I had the bright idea of having a baked potato bar at our wedding.  For those of you who have never partaken in a baked potato bar, essentially you take a baked potato and select toppings from a buffet selection, including such toppings as chives, sour cream, bacon bits, alfredo sauce, marinara sauce, broccoli, carrots, cheese...you get the point.

The great thing about the baked potato bar was that potatos are dirt cheap (we're anticipating buying about 150 of them for about $200), easy to cook, and diet-restriction friendly!  I found out about a month before our nuptials that I had celiac disease, and was so fortunate that we had inadvertently chosen a gluten-free option!  A baked potato bar is also dairy-free friendly, vegan and vegetarian friendly, and really just about anything-friendly!  Also, since our wedding is at 2 p.m. and almost buts into dinnertime, the potatoes can be as filling or as light as each guest would like to make them.

We were also fortunate enough to tap into my dad's culinary skills. Because this is a wedding in Maine, people were dying to eat lobster.  My dad found a quick and cheap "lobster salad" that he could make to supplement the baked potatoes.  Since lobster in Maine is extremely cheap compared to other locations (and because we have lobster-fishing family members) we were able to buy the lobster for about $2/lb.  Oh, and the lobster salad is gluten-free!

In terms of the cake, we contacted our local supermarket bakery, who offered to make us enough cupcakes for about $50.  We weren't set on a particular design (just that we wanted to eat delicious cupcakes) so this worked out perfectly!

We also knew that we wanted a bar at our wedding (we are Irish so our families love the G&Ts).  Buying the alcohol wholesale from a restaurant would cost us around $800.  Instead my stepmother and father drove to New Hampshire (no sales tax) and bought two gallons of vodka, two of whiskey, two of gin, two of rum, etc., plus mixers and all that jazz, for $250.  We're having a family friend bartend and because we paid for all the alcohol, the bar is OPEN!

[pictures below are NOT ours...I got them from Google images!  Read their properties for the URL].

3. So, with the food and venue secured, we set out to look for our vendors.  I had been to other weddings several months before my search and knew that they had spent an arm and a leg for DJs and a photographers.  I was determined to find quality vendors at a good price.

This, my friends, is where CRAIGSLIST comes in handy.  I cannot recommend Craigslist enough, especially when you live in Maine or a similarly rural area and vendors are more or less required to travel unless you're getting married in one of the big cities.  We perused the DJ and photography listings for quite a few weeks, emailing and getting quotes.  I found a post from an "amateur" photographer whose body of work was extensive and GORGEOUS.  She turned out to be super-awesome as well as super-talented.  Because she was still trying to build a portfolio, she could afford to charge us a really decent rate...and she's fabulous to boot!

(one of our engagement shots!  Courtesy of Justine Johnson Photography)

Next, we needed to find a DJ.  I posted a listing saying that my fiance and I were very budget-conscious and needed someone who was willing to travel a great distance from Maine's "big cities."  I got 30 or so responses, all of whom wanted to charge upwards of $1000 because of the extensive travel.  Finally I found one that caught my eye - a husband and wife team who own a traveling DJ company and enjoy traveling to far-off locations for fun weddings.  After we spoke with them we got a quote for $450 (not including the ceremony, which we are doing ourselves).  Note: You save a lot by just having them at the rehearsal and having someone man an iPod for your processional/recessional!

They have been absolutely amazing so far - took us out to dinner to discuss the wedding, call us at regular intervals, etc.  They even said we could use some of their equipment for other things we wanted to do in the wedding!

4. Clothes!  I knew that I didn't want to wear a big, flowy wedding dress, especially for an outdoor wedding (rips, dirt, grass stains!).  I opted to go for a tea-length dress, which cut our costs dramatically (somehow).  I checked out http://www.unique-vintage.com and other lower-priced (but fabulous) dress sites before settling on a little Jessica Mcclintock number:

Cute AND nontraditional (like me!). :) Bonus, it was only $250 and fit me like a glove right out of the box.  The dress made my bust look a little smaller than it was, so we petitioned a family friend of a friend to sew in some cups, which look fabulous and cost me about $10. 

Darling Fiance bought his outfit by trolling Macy's sales online.  He got his pants, vest, shirt and tie for a fraction of what they cost, all by being patient!  His suit needed only minimal tailoring, which cost us another $10-15.

I allowed my bridesmaids to wear literally whatever they wanted.  They all selected their own green-based dresses and I believe they were all under $150.  My maid of honor found hers on sale for $35!

5. Rings! Rob and I are not into big ring sets (he's not into rings at all).  Plus he's constantly outside with our dog, or in the gym, and we knew gold would wear down or scratch.  I have to travel for my work, and didn't want to spend a few thousand on a diamond band only to have it fall apart (or have to get it re-tipped, etc.). 

We found a seller on Etsy, ZoeandDoyle, that makes custom titanium rings.  Titanium is naturally hypoallergenic (yay for me, who has metal allergies!) and is a very strong, yet lightweight metal.  It can also be anondized into a billion different colors! 

The best thing about these rings is that both of them, together, cost $120.  And they're fabulous!

5. Our next big concern was tables, chairs, and tents.  When you go with a family venue you end up having to find all this stuff yourself!

My cousin had recently become engaged to a man who owned a restaurant/bar in town.  He was extremely kind to us and offered to let us borrow 4 large white tents (FOR FREE!), as well as large round tables and several rectangular tables (ALSO FOR FREE!). 

We also needed to find metal or plastic folding chairs, since hey, chairs are pretty important at a wedding.  My uncle worked at the local school for probably 20 or 30 years, and was able to access their entire store of metal folding chairs (totalling about 120 - we live in a small area, what can I say?).  Since it's a school, and we're getting married in the summer, they asked for nothing in return.

My stepmom also whipped out her sewing machine and MADE all of our napkins.  She also rented plates and glassware, which saved us quite a bit.

6.Flowers! I am not one to spend a lot of money on bouquets that will die before you even get them home.  I've heard of people spending $500-$1000 or more on flowers, and while that is fabulous for some people, it just wasn't for us.

For our centerpieces, we collected vintage bottles, vases, and jars.  Each table will have four or five of these, tied with ribbon, and with Maine wildflowers in each one.  My grandmother's house is a veritable botanical garden for Maine wildflowers, so this should be easy as pie...and free!  Any flowers we need after that will be obtained from the little bouquets you can get at the local grocery store (for maybe $12 each).

For the bridal bouquet, bridesmaids' bouquets, and boutonnieres, I found an Etsy seller that would make us all felt flower-and-button bouquets in our selection of colors.  Our wedding colors are green and black (with some pink) so that's what my bouquet ended up being:

My bridesmaids were all able to select their own combination of colors (I also gave them the option of using wildflowers)...these were their selections:

These altogether (along with matching boutonnieres for Rob and his best man) cost us $70.  And they're beautiful! :)

(all from Etsy seller kottonkandy52)

7. DIY! We did a little bit of DIY, but truth be told, we are not all that crafty.  When it came time for a wedding card box idea, I thought it would be interesting to have a mailbox.  People could deposit "mail" for us in the form of their cards.  My fiance, however, would not let it stop here.  He said that we should put eyeballs and arms on the thing and make it a Wedding Card Nom-Monster:

His sign says "I can haz ur wedding cards pls? NOM NOM."  We had a lot of fun with this and it was super cheap to make. :)

8. Customization.  We took out a lot of the 'traditions' that weren't meaningful to us, such as the bouquet toss, garter toss, limousine (I think my dad is going to drive us around in his '87 Lincoln!), veil, and a few others.  They just weren't for us, so out they went, as did the cost associated with them! :)

When I tallied all this up recently, I estimated our wedding cost as being around $3600.  And it's EXACTLY the wedding we want, without any corners cut!

So that's our story, we hope you've enjoyed it as much as we've enjoyed writing it!

My final, summarizing words of advice:

LOOK AROUND.  Always pick decorations, vendors, items, etc. that match YOUR IDEA of what your wedding should be.  Shop around, look at your options, and settle on what will be best for you and your day. 

UTILIZE THE SKILLS OF THOSE AROUND YOU.  In fourth grade, my teacher used to say "Use your available resources."  This is key.  We were able to tap into my stepmother's love of sewing, my father's love of cooking, and my uncle and cousin's connections to get us some amazing equipment for a fraction of what we'd pay if we were doing it on our own.  So talk to your family and friends, you might be surprised!

And of course, HAVE FUN! :)