Budget Savvy Bride- Offbeat Edition

            When I first got engaged in June 2009, I had a lot on my mind. I was living in a tent at a summer camp for the next 9 weeks with no access to internet or phone, not to mention I was about to start my senior year of college. My fiancé had just graduated from basic training in the Air Force and was looking at spending nearly a year in a tech school that did not allow him to take any leave besides Christmas. Consequently, the first few months of our engagement had no decisions about anything wedding related.

            After I finally came back to civilization, with a killer tan I might add, we sat down and tried to figure out the pressing issues. We set our date for October 30^th, 2010, because I had always wanted to get married at Halloween. The major issue being, how in the world are we going to pay for this? We considered loans, we tried to estimate how much we could save, then finally, my wonderful parents came back and told us that they would give us $10,000. A $10,000 wedding. It seemed do-able… until I realized how expensive weddings really are. How expensive, you ask? Ridiculously expensive.

I thought my head would explode! A dress costs HOW much? Oh man, $80 a head for catering? Oh no. I thought I was definitely in trouble. I wanted more than the typical park or banquet hall. I wanted something different and unique, something beautiful and personal. I quickly realized that we were going to have to prioritize what we wanted.

 1. Set your priorities

 Everyone has different wants out of a wedding. For me, I wanted a gorgeous, preferably historical venue, killer pictures and good food, not to mention an awesome dress. The venue was really priority #1 for me. The setting really sets the tone for anything, whether it be a short story in English class, a wedding or the place where you walk your dog every morning. I knew I needed something beautiful. Plus, the more beautiful the venue, the less $$ you spend decorating it. After many, many hours of searching on the web and going to visit venues, we settled on the historic Roberts Mayfair Hotel in downtown St. Louis. It was perfect for what I wanted, the ballroom was built in 1926 and still had all of it’s original details, lovingly restored the year before, molding, chandeliers, stained glass, the works. I was totally in love. The only problem was, it was a little more than what I was willing to spend. Uh-oh. Roadblock. It came to a screeching halt and I was heartbroken thinking I was going to lose the venue I loved so much. 

Enter my mother. Let me tell you something about my mom. She is the MASTER at haggling and browbeating people into doing what she wants. Her skills are the stuff of legend, worthy of Hercules, Superman and Obi-Wan Kenobi. I must say, she came to the rescue more than once in my wedding planning journey.

 2. Don’t be afraid to haggle

If there is one thing my mother and her garage sales taught me is that deals are always negotiable. In the crisis over the venue, she stepped right in like my avenging angel and pulled out her bargaining skills. I don’t think the venue coordinator knew what hit her. Before I knew it, she had talked the poor girl out of all of the room rental fees and gotten me a free cocktail hour, not to mention no cake-cutting fee and no set-up fees. She played this same game with our photographer. I still can’t even believe that I got the deal with them that I did.

A little back-story, I first met Shawn and Sam of Mirage Photo at a bridal show in St. Louis in October of 2009, almost exactly a year before our big day. I walked into the doors to the ballroom of the casino where the show was held and their booth was the first thing I saw. They had 2 giant zombie-themes engagement photos they had done hung up behind them. Zombies equal love for me, I am an absolute zombie movie fanatic. I knew right away I had to go talk to them. Shawn and I bonded over our mutual love for horror movies and nerdy pastimes such as gaming and comics. I knew I had to have these two photograph my wedding. I knew it. It was love, the chemistry was there. When I told him that I was planning a wedding the following Halloween, he almost jumped out of his skin. He told me that he had always wanted to shoot a Halloween wedding.

After our geek-session, I called them and set up a meeting. They brought their photo-books and brochures... I brought my mother. Yes, I loved them, I loved their work, but I didn’t love their prices. I was terrified that I wasn’t going to be able to afford them. We had our meeting, I looked through their books, we discussed my ideas for my wedding, and then we pulled out the budget. They showed me their pricing and asked how much we were willing to spend. I looked at my mother, she held the purse strings after all. She quoted them a ridiculously low number, well, low in the world of photography. To our surprise, they agreed! It was truly meant to be.

Some of our engagement pictures!

I also wanted to add that if you have a special circumstance, don't be afraid to ask for a discount because of it! My fiance is in the military and I am a student, we have gotten discounts for both things.

3. Take your time and shop around

 One of the hardest things to track down, for me, was my dress. I shopped, and shopped, and shopped, and shopped. I went to almost every bridal shop in St. Louis, except the really chi-chi ones I knew I could never afford. I looked at discount websites, I browsed pro-owned and vintage dresses, I contacted seamstresses about making a dress for me. I just couldn't find anything I loved. Here's some rejects just for fun!

I admit, I was very picky. I think a part of me felt really weirded out by having on a wedding dress. I'm not super girly and I just didn't feel comfortable or like me in anything. I felt like a bride, this totally other being, not myself. That really bothered me. I did find a certain Justin Alexander dress that I felt better in than anything else, but in the end, it was out of my budget at $1200. So, I took a break. I let my dress-addled mind rest. I took a couple of months and planned more of my actual wedding and realized that what I thought I wanted didn't actually fit into what my wedding was turning out to be. The dresses I had been looking at were all form-fitting, sleek Old Hollywood, my wedding was going in a very pinup, rockabilly 1950s direction.

So, after my break, I re-examined what I wanted. I went through the internet and started pulling out pictures I liked. My original dream of a lace trumpet seemed to have turned into a ballgown with a natural waist. Poofy. The thing I had told all the stores I didnt want, the thing I had refused to try on. A ballgown, imagine that.

This is where I ended up kids, No. 8771 from Allure's Fall 2010 collection.

The other thing in the "shop around" category is my supplies for my candy buffet. Apothecary jars are so expensive, even with 40% and 50% coupons from Hobby Lobby and Micheals, they can still run $30 a pop. Thats a LOT when you consider that you need probably 8-10 jars. Thrift stores, my friend, thrift stores. We bought all of my jars for my buffet for $20 at some local thrift stores and we are supplementing them with things that my mother, grandmother and aunt already owned. The only thing new is the $5 3-tier cake stand we bought at a nearby Macy's that was going out of business.

4. Keep an open mind

As I stated before, the kind of dress I ended up buying was what I had originally refused to try on. If I had been a little more open-minded, I might have found a dress much sooner than the 7 months and over 200 dress try-ons it took me to find one.

One of the elements of a wedding I was particularly surprised at the cost was the flowers. Holy moly are they expensive! So, I went by one of the cardinal rules of floral cost-cutting, choose less expensive, in-season flowers. I knew I wanted red, but I was open on the types of flowers I used, plus, I'm not really a picky person about flowers. My opinion on flowers "Ooo! They're pretty!". That's pretty much my reaction to any flower. So, I looked around a bit and eventually chose to go with a very small, mom-and-pop florist. I went into the consultation with these pictures in hand:

What did he give me? Exactly what I asked for. I knew that black magic roses and those curly little fern fronds were my must-haves. We chose to supplement them with karma chocolate dahlias and black ostrich feathers. Now, I'm sure you are wondering how on earth those tall centerpieces and the altar arrangements are budget-friendly. Any bride had found out that big centerpieces are reDONKulous in price. My secret? My florist is amazing. No really, he is renting me the vases, hanging votives and branches for free. He already owns them. How awesome is that? Way awesome. Plus, instead of going with the roses and dahlias of the bouquets, we are using red carnations in the centerpieces. Heck, they are tall enough that people wont be staring at them and carnations have a really cool texture and the added bonus of being dirt cheap. Score. I was open about types of flowers and he helped me stay in budget, under budget actually. Score for my amazing florist.

5. The internet is your friend

Ah, the internet. The hub of all modern communication. Full of hard news, pictures of people's cats and videos of guys with no common sense face-planting trying to skateboard.

As every bride has surely found, the internet is also a valuable resource for wedding planning. The proliferation of wedding blogs and websites has made it very easy for the modern bride to collect ideas, look at tutorials and drool over pictures of 4 ct. engagement rings. I must say, I have been a little crazy since starting my planning journey. I regularly frequent about 15 different blogs and have more posts on Weddingbee than I have ever had on another message board in my life (2,092 and counting). I have gained so much knowledge from these sites, I feel like a wedding planning guru.

Craigslist is my first site of choice under this tip. Your local craigslist is good for more than garage sales and "casual encounters", just search "wedding" and see what comes up. I bought my slip for my dress, tons of books, my take-out containers for my candy buffet, chair covers, etc, all from craigslist at rock-bottom prices. (Not to mention a TON of other non-wedding items such as my couch and my car!)

Blogs are my second tip. For any different niche of the wedding industry, there are blogs to satisfy that bride. A hippie with an outdoor wedding?

There's a blog for you.

Planning a platinum affair?

You too, my friend.

Are you a goth bride having a handfasting in a cemetary?

Yes, even you.

It is totally worth it to seek out like-minded people on the internet to help you on your journey. Like I mentioned, I am an active member of the Weddingbee boards. Having the support of a community has been invaluable to me.

The other big thing the internet is good for is to help with DIY.

6. If the internet is your friend, DIY is your BFF

With the recession, DIY weddings have become the biggest trend in the blogosphere (although, keep in mind they are still not the predominate type of wedding). The internet and the blog community has helped many a bride in doing her own DIy projects. As for me, I'm a moderate. I am DIYing some stuff, but not everything. What am I doing? Here's my list.

• Hair flower
• Invites and paper goods
• Bridesmaid's dresses
• Bridesmaid gifts
• Cake topper
• Card box
• Decor for ceremony and reception
• Some yummies for my candy buffet

See? Like I said, some but not all. Most of these things, like the cardbox and hair flower, I made from tutorials I found from simple google searches.

I am DIYing part of my bridesmaid gifts, not all. The things I did DIY were super easy. A tank top with a simple rhinestone transfer and a tote bag I made from a pattern from Butterick.

As for the dresses, I do admit that it's not something that anyone could do. My mother and grandmother are both seamstresses and I have been sewing since middle school. We are converting a Vintage Vogue pattern for a 1950's swing dress into an infinity/convertible dress. Not too hard, just follow the pattern and then substitute the straps for rectangular ones 1 1/2 times the height of the girl. We're using this pattern! We're also making red crinolines for under their black dresses from a super simple tutorial on eHow!

The candy buffet goodies are easy. All you need is some good recipes and a little bit of know-how. A lot of baking is trial-and-error anyway, so just go for it! Luckily, my mother and I have both taken cake decorating classes and I am an avid baker (wow, baking and sewing... June Cleaver, eat your heart out). We are making some chocolate-covered oreos, macarons, cakepops, brownie balls, petit fours plus tons of homemade chocolates and candies.

The DIY invites bring me to another whole tip completely.

7. Use your friends

Well, in my case they are not my friends, they are my mothers. My mother manages a small, all-female gym. She has a smaller list of regular people and they are mostly older ladies. It just so happens that a couple of these ladies generously offered to perform some services for me for my wedding. The first being her friend Angie. She and her husband own a printing business. Score! Invites were really where my biggest sticker shock came from. I couldn't believe how much people charge for paper. It's freakin paper! I did all the designing myself in photoshop. It took me a long time and about 20 different designs before I settled on something I was happy with. I used my mad photoshop skills and really made something that was personal to us and fit our wedding perfectly. Then, Angie offered to print them.... for free! SCORE! We are buying all of the paper from Cards and Pockets, and the whole thing is costing very little. She is also printing our escort cards and placecards as well as our table numbers (horror movie posters!) and my bridal shower invites.

The other "friendor", courtesy of my mom, is Kate. Kate is actually the event coordinator for a very chi-chi venue here in the StL. A venue I would never be able to afford in a million years (it starts at $120/pp!). My mother was talking about my wedding at work one day and apparently had mentioned that I really wanted a day-of coordinator but couldn't afford one. Kate stepped up to the plate and said as long as there were no events planned at her venue that weekend, we could have her for the entire weekend for free, as her gift to my mom! A free DoC! As of now, it looks like that will be happening. We're a little over 3 months out and she is still open that weekend.

8. Be true to yourself

This is my final and most important tip. No matter your budget, you can have the wedding you have always dreamed of. Whether you are a princess bride dreaming of a blinged-out wedding or are planning on going to the courthouse and then to dinner with friends afterward, you can make that dream a reality. Just make is personal, make it about you and your fiance. As long as you love your wedding and you end up married at the end of the day, thats what really matters.

My Budget Breakdown:

After me talking about it, I'm sure you are wondering what exactly the breakdown of that $10k is. Well, here you go:

• The Venue, including food, bar, parking and taxes for ceremony, reception and cocktails= $4,537 for 70 guests
• Cake, 3-tier with delivery= $390
• Photography including albums, prints, e-session and boudoir w/ full rights= $1500
• Flowers= $775
• Invites and paper goods= $90
• Dress with alterations, veil, accessories and shoes= $800
• Candy Buffet, jars and candy= $250
• DJ for whole event= $645
• Rentals, including linens, napkins, chargers etc.= $431
• DoC= Free
• Transporation= Free via my mom's sweet van and my Mustang
• Hair and Makeup= $80

Grand Total= $9,598, $400 left over for incidentals and tips