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Flower Girl and Ring Bearer Roles

How to prepare the youngest members of your wedding party for their special appearances! (expert advice)

Flower Girl and Ring Bearer Roles article photo
augie chang photography

If you will have a beautiful little flower girl and a dapper young ring bearer in your wedding, they will certainly become one of the highlights of the ceremony!  If you prepare your little helpers correctly and ensure that they know their roles, they will be more confident and ready to walk down the aisle before you.  Here are some tips and important information on flower girl and ring bearer roles which will help you prepare the youngest members of your wedding party?

Choosing Your Flower Girl and Ring Bearers 

Keep in mind that the younger your flower girl and ring bearer is, the higher the risk of a crisis. Young kids are frightened easily and may decide at the last minute that they are not walking down the aisle, they need to go to the bathroom or they'd rather watch a video.  If possible, choose slightly older children to act as the ring bearer and flower girl, so they will better understand their roles and will not be as afraid.

Flower Girl 

The flower girl follows the last bridesmaid, carrying a basket of flower petals to scatter across the aisle.  She is usually a girl with a special connection to the bride and groom - whether related or family friend, and is usually between the ages of 4 and 10. 

Typically, flower girls wear beautiful dresses - either small versions of the bridesmaid dresses or the wedding dress.  Typically, brides have the flower girl wear a ring of flowers in her hair or a tiny tiara.  After walking down the aisle, your flower girl will take her seat to watch the rest of the wedding.    

Ring Bearer 

Your little ring bearer comes behind the flower girl, carrying a pillow with the wedding rings tied to it.  He is usually related to the bride and groom or the son of close family friends.  The ring bearer is also usually between the ages of 4 and 10.

Many brides prefer that their ring bearer wear little versions of the groom's tuxedo, but you can have your ring bearer wear whatever you want.  From slacks and a little velvet jacket to suits which match the groomsmen - he's sure to look absolutely adorable no matter what you put him in!  Your ring bearer can either stand next to the groomsmen or be seated with his family depending upon his age. 

Tips for Your Ring Bearer and Flower Girl 

If the ring bearer and flower girl are prone to restlessness, have them sit with their families rather than standing for the wedding. You can even provide them with a coloring book or something else to keep them occupied for the wedding. 

If your ring bearer is fairly young, you may want to put fake rings on the pillow and have your best man hold the real rings.  Also, if needed, have the parents bring a change of clothing - most young boys don't want to stay in stiff clothing for too long!

By preparing your ring bearer and flower girl for their roles, you can ensure that the wedding goes smoothly and that they understand what they're supposed to do during the ceremony.

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01/20/2012 at 11:00 am

What if you have 2 ring bearers? I have my nephew and my finances nephew, one carries the ring but I need something for the other to do??

03/26/2011 at 08:17 am

We are having a ring bearer (just over a year) escorted by his older (4.5y) brother and my FI nephew (5)- they'll be back up if the ring bearer doesnt want to day of.  Then we have an 8 year old flower-girl and she will be escorted by her twin brother.  But its because we wanted to incorporate all of the important children in our lives into the wedding- especially since all their parents are in the bridal party.  Our ring bearer(s) will not have the real rings- and the elastic on the bottom of the ring cushion is a great idea! Thanks!

03/19/2011 at 12:23 pm

Very good article. Im having my 5 yr old son as my ring barer, he's having a cusion with a ribbon sown into it, to go through the rings so they can be secure, the cusion will also have a small piece of elastic on the bottom for his hand to go through so he cant drop it. My 3 yr old daughter is going to be flower girl, she's having a pommander of white tea roses with a ribbon attached, & they're going to walk down the aisle hand in hand. 

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02/25/2011 at 10:32 pm

It definitely important to have the ring bearers have fake rings! 

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Last Revision on Jan 24, 2010 at 11:58pm
by jeanish
in Planning Basics
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