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He Cheated On Me Right Before the Wedding

The wedding is off...or is it? It's the most dreaded occurrence for any bride-to-be - a fiancé that cheats right before the wedding. (expert advice)

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The wedding is off...or is it? It's the most dreaded occurrence for any bride-to-be - a fiancé that cheats right before the wedding. With the bonds of trust already broken, it's hard for some women to pick up the pieces and continue on with the 'love, cherish, and obey' part of their vows. When a fiancé cheats right before the wedding, you have to think to yourself - how strong is our love for one another?

Depending on the circumstances, you might be able to forgive the love of your life. But, what in the world possessed your fiancé to cheat right before the wedding? Some of the most common offenses include:

Long Distance Relationships: Are you engaged in a long-distance relationship that relies on telephone calls, emails, and letters for your sole source of communication and contact? When hundreds or thousands of miles separate you and the love of your life, it's easy to get clouded. Perhaps an intense fight sent him over the edge or he got lonely on Valentine's Day. His weakness could become the downfall of your relationship and ruin a wedding.

Some couples find that they really didn't know one another like they thought when a fiancé or fiancée cheats right before the wedding. This is a common situation that often plagues girlfriends of army personnel stationed overseas. 

Bachelor Party Nightmare: Bachelor parties are notorious for tempting fiancés with liquor and ladies. In a drunken stupor, your fiancé may cheat right before the wedding. Are you willing to chalk this up to inebriation and dulled senses or is the damage already done?

One Last Hurrah: Have you ever heard the saying sow his royal oats? Some men want to enjoy one last hurrah before plunging into marriage. A woman that finds out that her fiancé has cheated right before the wedding doesn't appreciate this very much and usually calls off the wedding because they fear their husband-to-be is afraid to truly commit. While this may signal future issues to come, some couples have been able to work past this indiscretion.

No Regrets: For many couples, getting cold feet is a common 'fight or flight' response. Some men want to make sure their fiancée is the absolute right woman for them. They may turn towards an old flame or high school crush to see if they'll have no regrets when they walk down the aisle. This doesn't make you feel any better. You actually feel worse when he says, "But, I now know that you're the only one for me." Some couples can look past this, while others struggle to move on.

What to Do?

It's hard to look at your fiancé straight in the face and not think of the betrayal and heartache he has caused. While engaged couples may face the same circumstances, the outcome and factors are not all the same. For example, you may judge a fiancé who cheats right before the wedding more harshly if you've only been dating for a short period of time. A long-term relationship usually has a better chance of working through their problems before entering a marriage. But how, you say...

Counseling is the first step towards mending broken bridges of communication. Whether you seek the guidance of your pastor or minister; or attend pre-marital counseling - you need to get the issue out in the open; share feelings; and reassess your commitment to one another. Is this something you can look past? Will you hold this blunder over his head forever? These are the kinds of things you must ask yourself when your fiancé cheats right before the wedding.

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MEMBER COMMENTS

10/11/2011 at 04:46 am

Why is there even a discussion about this?  If he cheats he's gone. There is not one single girl on here or anywhere that deserves that from ANYONE. 

There's no excuse, explanation, or any kind of verbal usage that would make up for something of that magnitude. Fight or Flight? the answer after someone cheats is flight IMO.

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10/10/2011 at 08:26 pm

Cheating is the one and *only* thing that would absolutely end my relationship, no discussion. I have been cheated on before and could never get past it, and we really tried.
Having said that a friend of mine cheated on her husband (FI at the time) and he cheated on her (also when engaged). They have now been together for 16 years, married for 10 years, and had their first child in July. I have talked to her A LOT about it and she swears that their relationship is 100 times stronger because of what they have been through and their trust in each other has never been better. Each relationship is different I guess....

10/10/2011 at 08:14 pm

I think anyone that believes counselling is never required is ridiculous. As for once a cheater always a cheater, I think they differ from case to case. Not that I agree with someone cheating before a wedding, but without knowing the relationship and the background no conclusions can be reached. Plus... let's stop believing that only the groom cheats. Women have the same fears and can be equally as guilty.

08/04/2011 at 02:32 pm

I used to think there were lines you could draw, and that some times maybe get over it if he were to cheat, because he was 'truly sorry'

BUT after the POS I was with, I realized there is no difference. A man who would cheat, once or a million times, is not a man who puts you first and values your feelings or honors you. If he was able to do it, then the next time he's stressed or frustrated or you're having problems, he will do it again. And then be "truly sorry" once more. NO thanks, I am never, ever dealing with that cycle again.

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Last Revision on Jan 24, 2010 at 11:35pm
by jeanish, joe
in Fashion & Beauty, Planning Basics, Wedding Party
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