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How to Deal with His Bachelor Party

Does his big night out have you extremely nervous? Calm down -- and read on for our key advice! (expert advice)

How to Deal with His Bachelor Party article photo
Leigh Miller

Oh no!  Did he really say his bachelor party?! 

You're not alone when those 2 simple words immediately conjure up images of your drunken fiancé surrounded by scantily clad women.  Most brides-to-be would rather plan 100 weddings than deal with their fiancé's bachelor party.  Calm down and give your beloved a little credit - you are marrying the guy, so you must trust him.  Bachelor parties are not always as bad as the horror stories you've heard.

Communication Goes a Long Way 

Instead of running to the best man and demanding for the party to be called off, sit down with your fiancé and talk about your feelings, your fears, and your concerns.  If the thought of your husband-to-be watching a roomful of dancing girls the night before your wedding night makes you feel a bit betrayed - let him know.  Ask him what the plans are for the night and discuss some limits that would make you feel more comfortable.  The bachelor party may be nothing more than a few guys, a couple kegs, and some action movies rather than girls and crowded bars.

Overcoming the Bachelor Party

If you're still not comfortable with the idea of a bachelor party, there are a few alternative options that will keep everyone happy.

  • Simultaneous parties. Weekend bridal party getaways are becoming quite popular with modern couples. Plan a bachelor and bachelorette weekend at a favorite destination. Schedule individual activities for the girls and the guys, as well as events for the entire group.
  • Groom's day out. An afternoon ball game, a day of paint ball, or a weekend fishing trip all sound more acceptable than a traditional bachelor party and most grooms prefer these tamer gatherings.
  • Jack and Jill. Skip the bachelor and bachelorette parties and opt for a fun couple's party with your closest friends. Dinner cruises, lake parties, and casinos make ideal locations or you could plan a simple barbecue.

You shouldn't have to drive yourself crazy trying to deal with the thought of your fiancé at a bachelor party.  If it truly bothers you, discuss an alternative with your future husband and he will more than likely respect your wishes.  If the bachelor party must go on - remember that they're usually not as bad as what you've seen on TV, then call up your bridesmaids for a girls' night out!

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MEMBER COMMENTS

12/23/2012 at 10:30 am

I sent my hubby to the strip club AFTER we were married because he never had the bachekor party. I think trust goes along way! I even gave the guys the money to give to the girls. I sent them to an upscale strip club and I knew that my hubby only wants to be with me. I just wanted him to have fun and be a guy for one night. Since then he has not been back. He said he felt weird getting a lap dance. I think it has to do with being secure in your relationship and talking about your feelings!

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09/21/2012 at 03:56 pm

ive never dirty danced with the guy. being close to our wedding and im the only girl he likes to touch.  We both agreed that i could show up in costume for him. and do that then. (he doesnt know who or what. lol)

05/06/2012 at 08:20 am

You want to know how to deal with your guy's bachelor party...have your bachelorette party the same night.  That way you will be out having a good time so you won't be sitting at home worried the whole time until he comes home.  

02/29/2012 at 03:54 am

My FI and I have talked about this before. My fiance has actually only been to a strip club once before for 5 min. It was for a bachelor party, but they all felt it was a bit dirty so left. I've actually been to strip clubs more than him (watching women, not men). I have nothing against them personally, but I wouldn't want any woman doing the things I've heard about and seen (yes, I was invited and have been to a couple bachelor parties) to my FI. I'm not insecure about myself, and I don't think he would do anything. I guess I just don't see how having the traditional stripper party has anything to do with marriage and the life you'll spend together. If he had really wanted a bachelor party, I would respect his wishes and let him (and have a bachelorette party to keep things fair). But he has no interest in having a bachelor party, and I think he would be a bit bothered if I had male strippers on me. Just our preference as a couple, we might throw a big house party with all of our friends and party it up like we're in college again, but both not really interested in the stripper thing. He mentioned that he really wants to just go go-karting (and he wants me and my friends to come), so we might do that.

Anyways, to each his own, as long as you're on the same page as your significant other, I think whatever people want to do is ok.

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Last Revision on Jan 24, 2010 at 11:13pm
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