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My Fiancé Hates Wedding Planning!

You delight in wedding planning, but he hates it. We have solutions for how to deal. (expert advice)

My Fiancé Hates Wedding Planning! article photo

It's one of the most important occasions in your life and you feel like you're on an island, drifting alone with monogrammed invitations in one hand and cake samples in the other. Why do you feel like this? Simply put, your fiancé hates wedding planning. Perhaps he doesn’t have an organizational bone in his body or doesn’t like to nitpick over details, but this isn’t what you expected. You want him to join in on the fun, but don’t want the wedding planning to become a stressed-out adventure. What can you do?

Take Some of the Pressure Away

Let me start by saying that you can't expect your fiancé to become knowledgeable in choosing the perfect cake frosting overnight. Just utter the word 'fondant' and you'll see what I mean. Many fiancés will also have trouble selecting wedding favors and having an opinion on the floral arrangements. Perhaps your fiancé hates wedding planning because you’ve made him feel that he has to become a part of every single detail. He feels overwhelmed. This means you should focus on enlisting his help with the tasks that most likely appeal to him, such as:

• Choosing the photographer and/or videographer
• Making arrangements for the rehearsal dinner
• Researching all-inclusive honeymoon packages
• Renting time-consuming, yet important wedding planning items (like outdoor tents)
• Hiring a DJ or checking out local bands
• Securing transportation plans

Express Your True Feelings

Having your fiancé become a part of the wedding planning process is important to you and he should know that you want the journey to be one that is traveled together. Tell him that you value his opinion and that it's important that you receive his input. 

"He Doesn’t Like Details"

When it comes to wedding planning, there are hundreds of significant, as well as tedious tasks to complete. Having your fiancé simply free up your time can make life much easier. Tell him to leave the details to you, but delegate some of the responsibilities that put a drain on your time, such as making payments, renting equipment, reserving hotel rooms, checking out the reception hall, and picking up supplies.

Create a Picture in His Mind

Some fiancés have no clue how much work goes into wedding planning. Create a list of tasks, dates, and other important information to illustrate that it is very necessary that he take an active interest. Once he's agreed to help out, make a checklist for him to follow.

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MEMBER COMMENTS

06/16/2011 at 01:33 pm

We have a long engagement so right now my fiance has minimal interest in wedding details. He does try to be interested and there are a few things he's getting excited about. I'm hoping he gets more involved as the date gets closer.

11/19/2010 at 06:30 pm

My FI doesn't hate planning. He listens to me when I give him the run down on things, I give him tasks to do which he tries to complete as soon as possible ( he's just that kinda guy). He's pretty much just cares that I don't go over budget, which I won't!

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11/19/2010 at 05:43 pm

I am lucky my FI enjoys planning our wedding.

10/23/2010 at 02:37 pm

Well obviously we all see things differently. My fiancé is one of those guys that could care less and has said I would meet you down the aisle in a brown paper bag, just tell where to meet! I absolutely love this as I have full reigns and don't have to argue with a man on anything. All I go over with him is costs and contracts. Nothing more, nothing less and I love it. I have received input though on things by showing him pictures in magazines and I do it as a game. What's ugly and what's not? That's fun and a good tip for women who also have guys disengaged from planning. That way you are still getting input. :)

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Last Revision on Jan 24, 2010 at 11:28pm
by apax, margaret
in Planning Basics
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