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Should You Have Kids in Your Wedding?

Having kids in your wedding can be fun, but teaching the little ones their roles can also require a lot of work! (expert advice)

photo by Jen Huang Photography

Your 5-year old niece looks adorable in frilly dresses and lace-topped socks – and you're thinking she's a perfect example of how to incorporate kids in your wedding. However, when it's time to walk down the aisle, tossing rose petals to the ground while the eyes of 200 guests gaze intently, how do you know she won't freeze under pressure? Kids in your wedding will certainly make a lasting impression.

From junior bridesmaids to confidant ring bearers, young children bring a touch of innocence and purity to a wedding ceremony. But, it's important to remember that having kids in your wedding takes patience and a bit of training. They must learn their roles and feel comfortable with the responsibility as well. Plus, don’t just assume your sister doesn’t mind having her daughter or son participating in the wedding. Did you ever stop to think that they don’t want all 200 pairs of eyes staring at their child?

To help you come to a conclusion on how to handle the issue of kids in your wedding, consider the following suggestions:

Age and Maturity
When having kids in your wedding, it is important to match ceremonial duties to young attendants based upon their age and level of maturity. Don't let a temper tantrum or easily distracted toddler cause a commotion at your wedding. It is suggested to place younger children (ages 4 to 8) in traditional roles, such as ring bearers and flower girls.

Parents' Role
Enlist the help of the parents of kids in your wedding and position them in convenient seats in order to direct their child and lend support.

The Safety of the Wedding Ring
When using kids in your wedding to carry the most prized possessions of the ceremony (besides your husband-to-be) – it might be a good idea to sew fake wedding rings onto the ring bearer's pillow. This will help avoid the dilemma of locating lost rings and wasting precious time.

Unexpectedness
Children are full of unexpected outbursts, cute mannerisms, and impromptu questions. If you want kids in your wedding, keep in mind that they are not adults and are prone to a few comic (or not-so-comic) errors.

Create Memorable Moments
Utilize the talents of your poetic nephew and encourage him to recite a piece at your ceremony.

Alternative Roles
Kids in your wedding don’t have to play the traditional roles of ring bearer and flower girl in the actual ceremony, but can instead pass out favors or bring cake to guests.

All in all, having kids in your wedding can create fun memories as long as the child is comfortable with the role they are given and you don’t mind taking a few deep breaths until everything falls into place.

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lorna247

12/22/2012 at 07:21 am

I had my 2 boys in the wedding party and my friends 2 little girls so they would have someone to walk down the aisle with. They were all AMAZING and I loved having them be a part of it all.

As far as children as guests goes….for me, The wedding its self was NO children. I wrote it on the invitation. Adult only. My kids and the other 2 left at 8:00pm after the meal. I had a few people get upset about not being able to bring there own but it be perfectly honest it was my day and I didn’t want to have to worry about children. I also didn’t want to have to pay for meals for them either. It cut the costs down significantly. The invites go out a few months before and 99% of the people you generally invite to a wedding know way before that when its happening so they have AMPLE time to arrange a babysitter. They manage for date nights, New Year and other nights out so why not a wedding???

At the end of the day the choices you make are your own and the people you inviite have the choice to come or not. I have been to tons of weddings with lots of kids in attendance and they are amazing and so much fun. I have also been to lots with none that were just a great. It’s a personal choice.

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IdoAgain20ye..

12/22/2012 at 06:18 am

I feel differently having had my kids in at and around weddings and funerals all of their lives.

I feel that parents know how to keep a bag of toys and other distractions at the ready and I had my sister in my wedding and she was 14 at the time. I had my nieces and nephew as well between the ages of 2 to 10.

This time I will be having kids ages 14 months at time of ceremony to 17 and all ages are covered and I am thrilled to have them. I am creating activity bags for each of them and I have a KIDS Area with activities as well.

My kids were in their first wedding as ring bearer and flower girl at age 4 and 6 years of age. They were flower girl and ring bearer again at 7 and 8 and BOTH times they listened to the photographer without issue and they did exactly as they were asked and told. I got major compliments from the photographer of BOTH weddings.

I think good parenting yeilds good kids and having things ready for kids will make the ENTIRE process easier!

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pinkprincess..

12/21/2012 at 11:52 pm

My thing is I have two daughters and my fiance has two daughters and we don't want them to feel left out so my daughter who is 7 and his daughter who is 9 are gonna be junior bride maids and my daughter who will be 5 and his daughter who will be 5 are gonna be flower girls! There a lot of kids in my family and and I want them all to be apart of it and my daughter who will be 5 will be my most challenge because she's so adorable but she has behavior issues and its a hit and miss with her some days are good and some are bad! But I would feel bad if I didn't have her my wedding so I look at it like this! It's my day and if No one likes the idea of the kids being at the wedding or my daughter having a bad day and making a ceane then they don't have to come or stay: )

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kkorb

10/17/2012 at 07:54 am

We are only having our chiildren at the ceremony/reception. We have chosen to title the invites as an adult only reception, We are on a tight budget and with family and friends having a large amount of children, didn't want to pay the extra for food, plus, we thought it wpuld be a nice opportunity for the adults to have some adult time...

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