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Wedding Guest List Issues

Is it really necessary to invite the relative you see every 7 years to your wedding? That's just one of the guest-list issues we've tackled for you. (expert advice)

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You haven’t seen Aunt Vickie since you were two years old and somehow she's wiggled her way onto your wedding guest list. How did that happen? Most likely, your mother had something to do with it and this is quite common. Parents, fiancés, and even best friends will have an opinion on who you should add to your wedding guest list, causing headaches and deep discussions that usually wind up causing an issue.

To make this journey much easier, I suggest preparing yourself for some of the typical issues that often emerge when deliberating over a wedding guest list:

Inviting the Exes

He was your 'first love' and you've been friends since high school. Have you ever stopped to think that your fiancé might not want your ex-boyfriend to attend your nuptials? Before settling down to make separate wedding guest lists, clear the air on this issue. Ask yourself how you would feel if an ex-girlfriend showed up at the reception.

Questionable Guests

It's important to create an event where everyone can feel safe, comfortable, and enjoy the festivities. However, questionable guests may appear on the wedding guest list. Do you want the alcoholic uncle who embarrasses the family with drunken antics scaring your friends at the reception? What about your fiancé's college buddy who tells dirty jokes and uses foul language at every turn? These are some of the wedding guest list issues that you must discuss before sending out invitations. 

The Guilt Invite

So, you were invited to a wedding of an acquaintance and have no clue why. As you settle down to create your wedding guest list, a slight twinge of guilt starts to mount. You don’t want to hurt anyone's feelings, but don’t invite someone just because they invited you to their wedding.

Guest List is Too Long

I've never seen a wedding guest list that didn’t have a limit. You have to stop somewhere and when you find yourself inviting your kindergarten teacher, you've probably hit that limit. Wedding guest lists that are too long not only drain your budget, but also turn intimate affairs to all-out bashes that have the potential to get out of hand. Set a few boundaries before creating your master list.

Should I or Shouldn’t I?

There are plenty of people in your life that fall into the category of possible wedding guests. We don’t want to deal with 'possibles' here; we want definite attendees that are worthy to share this precious moment with you. For instance, there is no rule saying you have to invite your boss, neighbor, or scrapbook club.

Plus-One Woes

Oftentimes, allowing single guests to bring a friend to your wedding will elevate the overall costs of your special day. This means you are paying for the attendance of someone you might not even know. For this reason, it is OK to omit this option when creating a wedding guest list. 

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MEMBER COMMENTS

01/24/2012 at 02:55 am

Thank you this helps a lot! : )

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11/15/2011 at 02:55 am

I agree to this...I'm also planing a weding for next year and I was done with my guest list and my table sitting plan untill me and my fiance told his mother we planning our wedding that she wanted us to add my fiance's uncle who was never there when he grew up they only starting to act like people who care recently not only because he wanted to but because the lady that he got married to knows my fiance's mother

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11/08/2011 at 07:03 am

I agree with Mayra.Mendoza89, people who try to wiggle an invite out of you is annoying. What is more annoying to me however are my family members who invite people without asking me first. I have a sister who has been doing this since the day I flashed her my engagement ring (seriously for real here, she did). She's been gabbing about my impending nuptials to everyone she knows since then, and when im around she forces me to say something, which creates awkward situations. I've tried to subtly let her know I'm not cool with. how free she is with my wedding, but either she doesn't take a hint or she thinks the rule doesn't apply to her. If she wants to share the "big news" of a wedding, then she should get married again and invite more then the 10-15 people she invited to her own "big day".

07/25/2011 at 07:29 am

When we go out and see someone that we haven't talked to in years, they say "OMG! We better get an invite!" FI and I are thinking "OMG! No your not!"

Even on Facebook, people post on my page "awww your getting married! We are invited right?" ugggh..NO.

Our guestlist, just with our family alone and our small church family (that we love) is 300 people! 

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Last Revision on Jan 24, 2010 at 11:15pm
by apax, margaret
in Wedding Party
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